THAT’S A LONG NIGHT
After a Friday night in Dupont Circle, a slightly inebriated District man left his friends in search of a Metro station, reasoning that the train would be cheaper than cabbing home.
He boarded the Red Line and successfully transferred to the Green Line in Chinatown toward his Petworth apartment.
Nearly a half-hour later, the man woke up on an empty train stopped at the Greenbelt platform in Prince George’s County.
Startled, he tried to leave quickly, only to realize his right leg had fallen not just asleep, but into a coma: He could not stand on it, let alone walk. He had to pick his right leg up with each step to maneuver off the train. After a solid minute of stomping his foot on the platform, feeling returned to his leg — and just in time, as the Metro intercom informed him to “Get off the platform. There are no more trains toward Branch Avenue.”
Defeated, the man left the station, relieved to see a half-dozen cabs parked outside. He hopped into a taxi, hoping it would bring some closure to his evening,
Alas, no such luck. The driver, who had been stiffed one time too many, refused to take him home unless the man forked over some cash in advance. The man declined, and instead approached a police officer to complain.
The amused officer told the cab driver he had better take the man back into the District. Thirty minutes later, and $30 poorer, the man was finally home.
THE REAL ‘REAL WORLD’
This is a tale of a Northwest D.C. group house — one of the many rowhouses split among 20-somethings who couldn’t otherwise afford their neighborhoods — told in the snapshot of one night. Of five roommates:
• One packed a picnic and headed to Screen on the Green.
• One met up for drinks with a lackluster OKCupid date.
• One assembled a floor fan, to combat the home’s broken air-conditioning and fruit-fly infestation.
• One practiced with his band.
• And the last one — well, she had moved out days before, and in with her boyfriend, one of the many avenues for leaving the group-house, 20-something life behind. Her replacement would arrive shortly.
WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
A District couple met at the Capitol grounds to have their engagement pictures taken, and they stopped to marvel at the perfect weather, the perfect lighting, the perfect location, and even the perfect color of the young bride-to-be’s dress… when the woman’s dress strap broke.
No matter, the couple and photographer decided. They carried on as the woman posed in her newly strapless dress.
CAUTION: DO NOT TOUCH
Exiting the Eastern Market Metro station, a curious toddler decided she needed to touch everything.
She touched the bench. She touched the pylon. And she touched the floor, even as her parents cautioned her that these things were dirty.
Imagine the glee on the toddler’s face when she discovered that her hand was not just dirty. It was covered in black soot, as though it had been painted. How’s that for dirty, Mommy?
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