Stuck in the Capitol at this ungodly hour, I can’t help but feel pity for the staffers who drew the short straw and got stuck with the late shift. From the police officers trying to figure out why the metal detectors continue to pick up my belt to the ushers forced to rouse slumbering members of the public who have nodded off in the gallery, very few working stiffs are manning their posts without a scowl. Even the senators responsible for keeping everyone else on the job are growing more and more agitated. Not that there are many of them in sight. Since Harry Reid announced at the last quorum call that he would not employ the parliamentary procedure again until 5 A.M., it’s safe to assume that every senator not “working” this shift is grabbing some much needed shuteye. When South Dakota’s John Thune steps to the podium sometime before 2 A.M., he’s speaking to virtually no one: Jim Webb and Debbie Stabenow eye him warily on the other side of the aisle lest he try and pull something tricky, and several aides and pages line the walls. Exactly 32 people watch from the galleries. It appears that two of those people are asleep. Of course, this is nothing new for most Senators. As any modestly experienced Congress-watcher will tell you, these speeches are not intended to sway debate. They are merely rhetorical flourishes designed to show C-SPAN 2 watchers back home that the Senate does in fact do something all day long. Things pick up a little bit when John McCain joins Thune on the floor. After asking a rhetorical question of his colleague, Thune tells his fellow Republican that yes, in fact, McCain does understand the issues of the day. Apparently annoyed by the Republicans’ little side conversation, Jim Webb springs to life, butting into the conversation, and then interrupting Thune’s attempts to respond. Webb doesn’t understand basic rules of parliamentary procedure, or he just doesn’t care. Either way, McCain sets him straight, telling him “We have to observe the regular order of the Senate.” Thune, who now has the floor all to himself, decides to rub it in a little bit, noting that Webb has not yet been to Iraq, a touchy subject for the senator exposed in this exceptionally testy exchange with Lindsey Graham on Meet the Press this weekend. After viewing this little piece of theater, involuntarily yawning every 30 seconds or so, I decided it was time to take a walk around the grounds. In between the Capitol and Constitution Avenue I ran into seven members of Code Pink. The pleasant, middle aged women were sitting up (the police warned them that if they were to lay down they’d be arrested; DC police are quite serious about keeping the homeless from cluttering up the grounds of the Capitol) and chatting amongst themselves. When I walked by, they waved me over and we talked for a few minutes, mostly about the crimes the president has committed, the imperial presidency, and the spineless Democratic Congress. They also invited me to their biweekly pot luck dinner in their new house a few blocks from Union Station. Though I’m sure the tofu is excellent, I’ll probably decline. After heading back into the Senate, all that’s left to do is wait for the quorum call and try not to fall asleep. That and listen to the senators, who are feeling the time even more acutely than before; at 3:14, laptop time, Stabenow completely forgets how to pronounce the word “magnificently.” Hang in there, Debbie. Only two more hours.
