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With a recent Rasmussen poll showing a generic “Tea Party” candidate outpolling a generic “Republican” candidate by five points, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele on Friday announced plans to negotiate an alliance with the chairman of the Tea Party.
“I have written a letter inviting the chair of the Tea Party to meet me at RNC headquarters, or perhaps a neutral site, to draft a peace treaty and formal alliance in order to defeat the Democrats in 2010 and beyond,” Steele said. “As soon as I find the name and address of their leader, I will FedEx this letter to him, or her.”
The RNC leader said he admired the organization the Tea Party chief has built.
“Clearly, he understands marketing, branding, recruiting and business process management,” Steele said. “The Tea Party chairman will, of course, want to link up with me to tap the RNC’s expertise in quality control. Our record clearly indicates that we never let it get out of control.”
A reporter’s calls to Tea Party headquarters went unanswered, because the phone directory contains no listing for Tea Party headquarters.
The Tea Party chairman, reportedly a reclusive individual, has turned the political establishment on its ear in the past year, organizing huge rallies and forming thousands of local groups that equip ordinary citizens to engage in politics with the goal of returning the nation to its constitutional roots.
Steele noted that as impressed as he has been with the unnamed Tea Party chief’s tenure, he added, “I think I can help him to make the organization more professional, more dignified and better able to fit into our great two-party tradition.”
In related news, the RNC has asked the generic Republican candidate who lost to the generic Tea Party candidate to step aside.
Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world’s leading family-friendly news satire source.
