As the great Homer once said, “Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk.”
OK, so that was not the philosopher Homer, so much as Homer Simpson, but the sentiment remains — and with Fairfax County announcing the return of chocolate milk to its public schools, we’re sure plenty of kids are celebrating.
This was the first year FCPS cut chocolate milk from its elementary school cafeterias, amid a broader health kick. Although parents complained, the district dietician maintained that they wouldn’t serve the high-fructose corn syrup drink.
But effective May 2, the nectar of child-gods returns! “Shenandoah Dairy has developed a new, low-fat chocolate milk that meets the district’s request to eliminate high-fructose corn syrup without adding extra sugar,” school officials said. “The new chocolate milk has been taste-tested by FCPS students,” and also will replace the chocolate milk still served in secondary schools.
As an ode to the carton concoction, a few great moments in chocolate milk:
- Back to the Future – It’s 1955 in Lou’s Cafe, and George McFly is working up courage to ask out Lorraine (aka, the future mother of Marty). What does he order from Lou? “Gimme a milk… chocolate.” He gulps, slams it down on the counter, and is in hot pursuit.
- The opening scene of Clerks – In this ultimate slacker movie, chocolate milk is the tool through which we understand: These are ultimate slackers. Dante not only overloads his milk with chocolate powder, but also can’t stop from spilling it, nor keep his dog from drinking it from the floor.
- Hook – Bad things can happen when you don’t let kids blow bubbles in their chocolate milk. Namely, they could grow up to be Robin Williams, and smash your watch.
