“Look, he’s falling asleep,” said one of the smaller children. “Oh, honey, don’t let him sleep on your lap.”
“But he’s tired. And he’s so cute. And it’s nice!”
All three of these things were true: Billy the 8-week-old puppy was tired after frisking around the kitchen floor with five entranced children and two enthralled parents. He was indeed unbelievably cute, with his fluffy blond hair and sweet, intelligent face. And who can dispute the niceness of having such a warm dollop snoozing on one’s lap?
Yet, as we’d been advised, if you let a puppy develop the habit of climbing on people’s laps and sleeping there, you teach him that it is desired behavior. And while it may be ardently desired when he weighs five pounds, it will most certainly not be wanted when he’s an adult and 10 times heavier.
“Aw, he woke up,” said the child regretfully, as she slid the animal to the floor. The puppy looked up, wagged his tail, and tried to insinuate himself back into her lap.
“No, Billy, no,” she said, and gently moved him away.
“Good girl,” I said to her, and “Good boy,” to him. There’s been a great deal of such warm and somewhat clueless encouragement lately, as we endeavor against all natural instinct to start the puppy’s home life off in an orderly way.
Having lived with Billy for a scant three days, it’s amazing to me that man ever managed to domesticate dog in the first place — not because dog isn’t eager to please, but because the temptation is so great for man to do exactly the wrong thing at almost every turn. Man wants puppy to have whatever puppy wants! Man wants to spoil puppy! Man constantly must resist the urge to play omega to the cute puppy’s alpha!
Letting the creature sleep on your lap is just the start of it. There is also the titanic desire to capitulate when he whines and cries. Whining and crying doesn’t sound appealing, I know, but it’s heartrending when plaintive little sounds emerge from a tiny sad puppy face, and my goodness it’s tempting to yield when you have it in your power to make the tragic sounds stop.
Then there is the matter of compelling the puppy to go where you want rather than where he wants. These are early days, of course, and we are only trying to lay a calm groundwork for real training when Billy is older. Yet such is his grip on our heartstrings already that it feels almost heartless to redirect him away from unsuitable things that delight him (shoelaces and the fringes on carpets) toward appropriate objects that so far seem to bore him (such as a comically named “meat-scented nylon bone”).
When our family was still in the throes of deciding whether to get a dog at all, countless people said — in tones of enthusiasm or horror, depending — that adopting a puppy is “like bringing home a baby.” Not so! It’s harder! At least you can let a baby sleep on your lap without setting a dangerous precedent.
Meghan Cox Gurdon’s column appears on Sunday and Thursday. She can be contacted at [email protected].
