Say cheese but only if the camera works

I?ve had bad luck on the camera front lately. For several years my husband and I used a digital camera just small enough to fit in a man?s shirt pocket. It took mediocre pictures of scenery and people, but I knew how to use it. I was satisfied.

Then it broke.

Unfortunately it doesn?t make financial sense to fix anything anymore. Our little lousy camera was a goner.

My stepdaughter gave us a new camera just before we took a trip to Hawaii. On arriving there, I was about to take the obligatory, “This is us in the airport with leis around our neck” picture, but our brand new camera apparently had a run-in with something in my purse and had broken somewhere between Baltimore/Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport and Maui.

While in Hawaii, we won a camera ? a very sophisticated one. It had a gigantic lens. It was so intimidating, I gave it to my step-daughter.

We?ve now purchased yet another camera. A sales associate at a Baltimore store assured us it?s easy to use. Unfortunately the instruction manual is the most unintelligible piece of garbage I?ve ever seen. There?s not one mention of the proper way to install the battery. There is, however, an unending assortmentof indecipherable diagrams and arcane icons.

I like to think I?m a fairly intelligent person, at least when I?m wearing my glasses. Yet after poring over this so-called “user guide,” I feel like a complete moron. The only part I understand is where it tells me not to let the camera bang into anything in my handbag.

I?ve never had a huge need to take pictures, but we now have four grandchildren who do very cute things. I?d like to capture these moments without needing an advanced degree in photography.

If I somehow manage to figure this out, I have just one more New Year?s wish: Please don?t let this camera ever break. I?m just one user guide away from the nuthouse.

Deborah Stone spent 15 years as a reporter and anchor at WJZ-TV and is currently a freelance writer.