Okay, the recount didn’t work. The “faithless elector” pleas produced exactly two faithless electors to reduce his Electoral College vote total to 302 from 304. There’s always the 25th Amendment to the Constitution. That allows the vice president and the cabinet to remove a sitting president if he’s “unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office.” But I don’t think Jeff Sessions and Rex Tillerson are going to go for that, much less Mike Pence.
But here’s something that will get rid of Donald Trump once and for all:
Magic!
And you can be part of it! Starting Friday night!
According to a document circulating on the Internet (at least according to occult-scene novelist Michael M. Hughes), a bunch of witches have concocted a “spell to bind Donald Trump and all those who abet him”:
That sounds good. And as it happens, there’s a waning crescent moon right around the corner:
Hughes explains how a “binding spell” works:
But you can’t just stand outside under the moon and chant “Dump Trump” three times while clicking your heels together. There’s an elaborate ritual involving such equipment as an unflattering photo of the Evil One himself, the Tower tarot card (that’s a scary-looking card depicting people plunging to unfortunate fates—and I’ve got a pretty good idea which “Tower” on Fifth Avenue the witches have in mind), candles of various kinds, and other symbolic stuff. Then you have to invoke the spirits with this prayer:
As you can see, with those words you can deep-six not only Trump himself but also Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Sean Spicer, and any other White House people who get up your nose. You end the ritual by using one of the candles to burn Trump’s photo as you utter “So mote it be,” which is the Wiccan way of saying “You’re fired.”
There’s already a “Bind Trump” Facebook page where witches can get together and trade photos of their personal variations on the rite.
So finally, finally, you really can make Trump disappear from the West Wing for good. So mote it be.
