News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.
As a tribute to the late Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, whose year-long battle with brain cancer ended Tuesday, Senate Democrats have announced that each of them will purchase a health insurance policy to cover a poor family for the rest of their lives.
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said his colleagues would also encourage every American Democrat who earns more than $100,000 per year to do the same. Reid has invited Republicans to emulate the move, and he speculated that “they’ll probably cover two families each just to flaunt their wealth.”
The gesture comports with Kennedy’s lifelong ambition to get health care for every American, as well as his reputation as a lawmaker who could bridge partisan divides to get things done. With today’s announcement, the national health care reform debate effectively ended.
“This is a win-win,” said Reid. “Not only can we insure most of the uninsured by simply having wealthy Democrats adopt a poor family, but since my paycheck comes from the government, my liberal friends will be glad to know that the taxpayers are subsidizing this program. It’s a public option. Sen. Kennedy would be proud.”
Nevertheless, resistance to the plan is expected to come from liberal Democrats wary of “anything that smacks of moralistic compassion without legislative compulsion.”
“If you let people think that it’s up to them to care for their neighbors,” the unnamed senator said, “they’ll start wondering why that doesn’t apply to other activities we currently mandate. It’s a slippery slope.”
In support of the voluntary program, Senate Democrats could be seen wearing wristbands inscribed with “WWTD” — an acronym that means “What Would Teddy Do?”
Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world’s leading family-friendly news satire source.
