The American Mustache Institute says John Bolton’s “sexually dynamic” facial hair should not be discriminated against, pushing back against a report that President-elect Trump would not consider the former United Nations ambassador for secretary of state because of his mustache.
According to the Washington Post, Trump has a certain look he wants in his Cabinet members. The report stated Bolton’s mustache ran afoul of that look, eliminating him from contention.
Irwin Galifin-Jones, the director of esthetics and equine fitness at the institute, wrote mustachioed men are slowly being drummed out of public life. Bolton’s exclusion for consideration for the nation’s top diplomatic position is more proof, Galifin-Jones said.
He said it’s a shame “John R. Bolton’s sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle eliminated him as a candidate for the coveted secretary of state position.”
Galifin-Jones said Trump’s discrimination toward men with facial hair is hypocritical at best, given his own adventure of a hairstyle.
“The paradox, of course, is that Mr. Trump’s orange face and spaghetti squash mane would, theoretically through his own Clark Gable paradigm – who ironically had a mustache – would make Mr. Trump himself unfit to serve in a position of leadership,” Galifin-Jones said.
The real issue is how far mustachioed men have fallen in the modern world.
Galifin-Jones said the 20th century opened as a boom time for men with mustaches, as Teddy Roosevelt was president and William Howard Taft soon followed.
However, mustachioed men were soon drummed out of government and found few prominent places of power, he said.
“Mustached Americans have since faced an ongoing pattern of discriminatory government, business and cultural policies,” he said. “To wit, neither of the major parties has even nominated a Mustached American candidate for president of the United States since Thomas E. Dewey challenged Harry S. Truman.”
It’s time for Trump to make America mustachioed again, Galifin-Jones said.
“Throughout much of his presidential campaign, Donald Trump has preyed on a broad array of fears — vilifying Mexicans, poking fun at the handicapped, misogynistically castigating women and now — perhaps most unsettling — discriminating against people of Mustached American descent,” he said.
“Mr. Trump, your discriminatory actions are unacceptable. The Mustached American people will stand by no longer.”
