In this space, he’s been called the gecko from Geico, E.T. Phone Home and a giant singing earthworm. If things pan out as expected and Phil Stacey is booted from “American Idol” this week, today will be the last day to air out his other unpleasant likenesses, including a cue ball with eyebrows, Mr. Baby’s Butt-Head and The Crooning Tampon.
Once blasted here as the donkey who skipped the birth of his daughter to audition for “American Idol” (can we ever really forgive him for this?!) Phil has endeared himself to this ornery critic with ever-improving vocals and an aw-shucks attitude that proves — maybe, just maybe — this clown isn’t a total schmuck after all. Anything short of an “Idol” title should have proven his knuckleheaded family decision, but Phil’s relative success allows that maybe he’s not a complete nitwit.
It is with a hint of sadness, then, that we may be saying farewell to Phil the Pill, this column’s “favorite” contestant. We hardly knew ye.
And once more, for ol’ times sake: Good riddance, loser.
Phil Stacey, 29
» Jacksonville, Fla.
Last week: “Maria Maria” Grade: C+
Vegas says: 45/1 (www.Bodog.com)
Tune up or tune out? Phil has a better chance at an afro. Tune out.
Blake Lewis, 25
» Bothell, Wash.
Last week: “I Need to Know” Grade: A-
Vegas says: 4/1
Tune up or tune out? This rising star is now looking like a possible crasher of Melinda’s “Idol” party. Turn up.
Melinda Doolittle, 29
» Brentwood, Tenn.
Last week: “Sway” Grade: B
Vegas says: 3/4
Tune up or tune out? The Tiger Woods of this season’s “American Idol,” evenon an off-day this songstress is cruising at a higher altitude. Turn up.
Jordin Sparks, 17
» Glendale, Ariz.
Last week: “Rhythm is Gonna Get You” Grade: A-
Vegas says: 2/1
Tune up or tune out? Following last week’s pulsing “Rhythm,” my scorecard for Jordin Sparks Songs I’ve Actually Liked now reads 1. The Yo! Factor is on bust. Tune out.
LaKisha Jones, 27
» Fort Meade, Md.
Last week: “Conga” Grade: C+
Vegas says: 5/1
Tune up or tune out? LaKisha has gone from the belle of the ball to a weekly also-ran. Her performances just aren’t exciting anymore. What comes up must come down; just ask Isaac Newton and Britney Spears. Tune out.
Chris Richardson, 22
» Chesapeake, Va.
Last week: “Smooth” Grade: B
Vegas says: 25/1
Tune up or tune out? Chris’ appearance in the bottom three last week was unfortunate if not unexpected: The shelf life on this tasty appetizer is nearly expired. Still a Scott Fuller favorite, Chris needs a truly smokin’ joint to bring the heat back. Turn up.
Sanjaya Malakar, 17
» Federal Way, Wash.
Last week: “Besame Mucho” Grade: B-
Vegas says: 5/2
Tune up or tune out? Miracle of miracles: Sanjaya’s Spanish serenade wasn’t half bad! (Maybe it was the mustache.) The lil’ tyke just keeps on trucking. But be warned: This is the calm before the storm in the Universe of Sanjaya. I sense that Judgment Day is near. Turn up.
‘American Idol’
» 8 to 9 p.m., Fox
Country superstar Martina McBride mentors the seven remaining singers before they perform for America this week. In case you hadn’t guessed by the choice of mentor, this week is “Country Week” — which will hopefully go over betterthan last week’s bizarre “Latin” theme. “Turn the Beat Around” is about as “Latin” as “Hava Nagilah.” – Zap2It.com
Each week, Scott Fuller breaks down the sinkers and swimmers on “American Idol.” Sound off: [email protected].
