Maryland’s third congressional district candidates keep commentators on their toes

By Examiner Staff Writer
Published August 8, 2010 4:00am ET
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Maryland’s Third is one of the most convoluted and twisting pieces of geography outside of Patagonia. It includes parts of BAltimore and sort of snakes through central Maryland to Annapolis. Some of the people trying to represent it in congress also appear to….oh never mind.

One candidate tells us his complaints are handled by going to HELEN WAITE. Helen Waite?  Check out the web-site for John Kible at http://web.mac.com/johnkibler/Site/GREETING.html . You may find it…uhh..interesting. Especially the part about global warming and jobs which concludes by saying:

I say, let’s not mow our lawns but once a year. We’ll be making loads more oxygen with longer grass blades. We wont be buying fuel from foreigners that hate us. We wont need fertilizers and such. And less work for, most likely illegals, then they will go back home. Besides all that, our children will put down their video games and go outside in the weeds and play with the rats and snakes. We’ll win all the way around. So the next time you see a manicured lawn, say to yourself, look at that selfish guy, he doesn’t care about the earth. If you have any complaints about this article, please go to Helen Waite, she handles all my complaints.

If I go to Helen Waite will I meet a woman who is better than Helen Reddy?  Uh…Hell and Ready? Oh nevermind….And we wont be putting apostrophes in our contractions, wont we? OOPS I thought that was his web-site but it turns out he has a second web-site http://www.congressmankibler.com/ . By the url he must think he is already elected to congress. He tells us that:

John Kibler is every Marylander’s favorite candidate for the 3rd US Congressional District because his priority is on jobs, jobs, jobs. He pledges to take back America for Americans when you vote to send him to Congress.  Note: John Kibler will not accept campaign contributions of more than $5 per voter, and will never ask for more than $1 per voter who lives in Maryland’s 3rd Congressional District. John Kibler will not accept campaign contributions from anyone outside Maryland, nor will he accept donations from foreign persons or organizations. Ask your candidate if he follows Honest John Kibler’s campaign finance ethics! Rather than waste money on media ads, John wants his neighbors to spread the word and vote for him so he can bring back good jobs to the Baltimore area and to the USA.

Hmmm.  I kind of like this guy…in a weird sort of way.

There is also Democrat Ryan Ludick, a Navy civilian working logistics for Naval Sea Systems Command who lives on a boat in Eastport. Ludick says he “will not accept any campaign donations from: any companies or organizations, or any individual who is not eligible to vote for me.” Furthermore, he says it is “almost criminal that the people of one Congressional District can influence the representation of another.” Now that sounds okay to me…..Learn more about him at: http://www.ludickforcongress.com/  or on his Facebook page at:

www.facebook.com/pages/Ryan-Ludick-for-Marylands-3rd/104057542977653?v=wall

Michael Miller and perennial candidate John Rea appear to be more of these AWOWS or absent without a website candidates . Can anybody help? Rea is an interesting case as he appears once again to campaign in a stealth mode as if to say “Don’t pay any attention to me…please”.  Also in the AWOWS category are Thomas Defibaugh Sr. and   Thomas Pinkston Harris whose website http://pinkharrisforcongress.com/  only says “coming soon.” Stgay tuned. NOT!!!

Benjamin Lawless who is offically listed as a candidate for congress has a website that says he is running for state senate. Visit http://lawlessformaryland.com/  He is having Ann Coulter speak at an upcoming fundraiser.  Need I say more? I think I’m gonna be sick….

Incumbent John Sarbanes can be found at http://www.johnsarbanes.com/

Republican Greg Bartosz can be found at http://www.gregbartosz2010.org/   Be sure to read his “philosophy” page at http://www.gregbartosz2010.org/page7.php  And he did a really interesting side-by-side comparison of himself and Sarbanes with tidbits about the other candidates. This seemingly organized and articulate fellow is certainly worth examining further. See http://www.gregbartosz2010.org/page4.php

Annapolitan and Republican Jim Wilhelm appears to be actively campaigning at http://wilhelmforcongress.com/ .

We already had a guy who says he is every man’s favorite candidate but Libertarian Jerry McKinley’s website tells us that he “has been described as the living embodiment of The American Dream.” Darn. I thought that was me, Who describes anyone as these things anyhow?? Visit http://jerrymckinley.com/ to find out. The banner on his web-site appears to be a photo of an ancient and crumbling Scottish castle….what MOOR can I say? Is he trying to tell us something? Are the British coming? I can almost hear a crow cawing. He says that “The mission of the Elect Jerry McKinley Campaign for 2010 is to raise public awareness of the Libertarian Party and encourage public discourse of common sense solutions to the problems that plague our country. ” Cool. Plague. Now I get it. NOT!

 

Alain E. Lareau Jr.  of The Constitution Party does not appear to have a website but a bunch of oddly unconnected and hard-to-find pages, but his resume is posted at http://metaphorman.tripod.com/resa.htm

 

Metaphor man indeed. What’s a meadow for? Maybe for a Scottish castle? He has not MetaFoer……and people wonder why I drink….urp!

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