(SPOILER ALERT) “Bite my tongue, bite my tongue,” was all Kristen Kish could whisper to herself at judges’ table. She could have explained how her teammate Josie Smith-Malave promised to make the sauce in time but procrastinated. Instead, Kristen took full responsibility as executive chef on last night’s Restaurant Wars episode and was sent packing because of a Bouillabaisse lacking in sauce. On the phone, I asked the Boston chef if she regrets falling on her sword. “I need to formulate my thoughts,” she said. Otherwise, what comes out is “word vomit.” So she revealed nothing. Only later did the judges get the backstory. As Top Chef‘s Tom Colicchio wrote on his blog, had they known everything, “the outcome of the challenge would have been different.”

During Restaurant Wars, the contestants form two teams with competing eateries. At the end of the night, the executive chef of the losing team accepts some responsibility and even if he didn’t personally cook a faulty dish, he can still get sent home for not asserting himself. Subordinate chefs are also chastised for not speaking up and mutedly taking orders. After taking the blame, Kristen said, “it crossed my mind” that she’d be axed.