There’s nothing saving post-apocalyptic ‘Book of Eli’

First we had the post-apocalypse as a John Cusack cartoon in “2010.” Then we had the post-apocalypse as a heart-wrenching father-son drama on “The Road.” Now, for the third time in as many months, the world has ended yet again. Oy vey. Can it just end already? The mass death and destruction. The de-saturated tones, desperate hunger, cannibalism, rape and brutal survival of the fittest (and the least washed).

It’s all here. But this time, the grimy post-apocalypse is done up as a chop-socky western! And not even another commanding Denzel Washington performance and lots of well-choreographed hard-core action can redeem it. Of course, the always nuanced Washington and his proselytizing badass character Eli almost make you forget about the story illogic, cliche villains and horrifically poor acting of the sitcom twinkie who has the female lead. Heck, Denzel probably could have made that Chipmunks “Squeakquel” seem good.

As directed by the Hughes Brothers and written by Gary Whitta, the flick gets organized around a religious theme meant to enhance the audience’s investment in Eli’s hero journey. It’s been 30 years since a civilization-obliterating war blamed on Christianity. This led to the intentional destruction of all the Bibles. Eli found the last surviving one and heard the voice of God tell him to go west so its greater purpose would be revealed. He’s been following orders ever since: Learning The Word by night, using a great big knife and sick martial arts moves to slice up any interferers of his mission by day.

But Eli’s path is soon impeded in a one-horse — er, I mean — a one-boss town run by a megalomaniacal saloon owner called Carnegie (played by Gary Oldman in that way he now always plays wrongdoers). Carnegie just so happens to be seeking out a Bible. He wants to use Scripture as an opiate for what’s left of the masses so he can control them.

It’s good versus evil, folks, replete with samurai-style barroom brawls, a major shootout at what would seem to be high noon, and a loner with serious skills. Jennifer Beals and “Rome”‘s Ray Stevenson have supporting roles that don’t show off their respective strengths. But it’s “That ’70s Show”‘s Mila Kunis who really blows up this shindig. Looking more like a floozy strutting down Sunset Boulevard on a Saturday night than Eli’s disciple escaping sexual slavery in hell, she’s a holy eye-roller.