Christie Hefner, Playboy‘s CEO, recently hosted a fundraiser for Al Franken, and now, the Hill‘s Aaron Blake reports, “Minnesota Republicans unleashed one of their harshest piece [sic] of opposition research yet on Democratic Senate candidate Al Franken, pointing out a 2000 column, including graphic sexual descriptions, written by Franken for Playboy magazine.” Clearly the real story here is the harshness of the right-wing freak-show, not Franken’s vulgarity. As Blake explains, Franken’s article was “clearly intended to be humorous.” Blake prefers to paraphrase Franken’s work rather than quote much from the Playboy article itself, so I dug up a copy of the piece (on Nexis! I swear!). Now you, gentle reader, can judge Franken’s work on its own merits:
I was escorted through the modest single-story cinder block think tank by IPS senior fellow Dr. Julie DeVine, a futurist trained at MIT, the Minnesota Institute of Titology, which has a controversial doctoral program. As Dr. DeVine led me to the Future wing of the institute, I couldn’t help but notice that she is an extremely attractive blonde with a tight, round ass, legs that won’t quit and firm but ample breasts. So ample, in fact, that she received a full scholarship from MIT. At first I thought it was my imagination, but when Dr. DeVine escorted me into the virtual reality room, she seemed to be coming on to me. She allowed her bodacious breasts to brush against my face as she lowered me into the prototype of the Virtu-Screw 2000. “How does that feel?” she cooed. I didn’t know if she was referring to the Naugahyde bucket seat or to the two erect nipples pushing through her white lab coat and nearly poking my eyes out. … I found myself extremely attracted to the vulnerable side of this sexy scientist, and when I offered to comfort her, she accepted, kissing me full on the lips and inserting her tongue into my mouth and moving it around suggestively. Then she reached down and started rubbing my crotch, and within just five or ten minutes my cock was again hard and ready for action.
So, yeah, Franken’s wit is about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face. How did he make a living telling jokes again?
