“I‘m going to dominate you!” “Aaaah! Run away!”
I could hear screeches of laughter and the sound of feet pounding down the stairs.
“You can’t escape!” came a cry from the second floor. “For I am the alpha! And I’m going to dominate you!”
A moment later a herd of children came charging through the kitchen where I was peacefully trying to prepare dishes for a New Year’s Eve dinner.
“Aaaah, she’s going to dominate us!” they cried, thundering past into the dining room, into the hallway, and back up the stairs. The pursuing alpha, still giggling, stopped for a moment to ask if she could have a Christmas chocolate.
“Not a chance. Off you go.”
“Darn, I was hoping to dominate you,” she said with a grin, and pelted off again.
There’s been a lot of domineering swagger around here lately, due entirely to the arrival of Billy, the now-9-week-old golden doodle puppy who came to live with us on Christmas Day.
Ever since Billy moved in — and well before that — we have been talking with the children about the importance of establishing and maintaining a calm, proper hierarchy. Apparently when a dog understands that you are the boss and he is the submissive henchman, training goes well and both of you will be happy. It’s when the boss shows weakness or inconsistency or gives too much power to his minion that things can go wrong. The underling may begin to get ideas above his station. He may disregard his boss’ authority. He may even bite!
So as the actual alpha dame around here, I’ve made a point every time I play with Billy not only to cuddle and mangle him in a firm and friendly way, but also to say — mostly for my own amusement, admittedly — “I’m going to dominate you, grrrr!” For I just do not — will not — have our polite puppy grow into an ill-mannered dog.
And I thought it was all going brilliantly, too, until I learned that even the most amiable minion can’t instantly turn into Mr. Submissive if you’ve just spent 15 minutes whipping him into wild joy with a soccer ball on the front lawn.
Poor Billy was so excited that he began nipping every leaf and every person he saw. He pounced on one child’s suede boots and yanked on another’s girl’s skirt and then bit his own domineering boss right on the finger. My growling suddenly seemed ridiculous, and even though I used all my alpha techniques (even sticking my finger down his little throat — yuck!) he kept on gnashing his terrible teeth and rolling his terrible eyes.
Since he weighs five pounds, I was able (gently) to subdue him but the episode taught me a lesson I won’t forget. Billy isn’t the only creature around here that needs to be subdued from time to time.
Meghan Cox Gurdon’s column appears on Sunday and Thursday. She can be contacted at [email protected].
