Worse than the Hummer, dastardlier than a Gulfstream V, cow flatulence is the bête noire of the environmental movement. “Livestock are responsible for 18 per cent of the greenhouse gases that cause global warming, more than cars, planes and all other forms of transport put together.” And until now, there was little anyone could do to stop them. So desperate for a solution, some countries have pondered a flatulence tax-exempting humans, thankfully. Courageous scientists in Wales were investigating whether garlic would reduce so-called emissions. But a break-through is upon us!
New Zealand scientists claim to have developed a “flatulence inoculation” aimed at cutting down on the massive amount of methane produced by its sheep and cows. Such animals are believed to be responsible for more than half of the country’s greenhouse gases, causing huge environmental problems. But Phil Goff, New Zealand’s trade minister, told an Organisation for Economic Co-Operation and Development (OECD) in Paris yesterday that a solution was in sight. “Our agricultural research organisation just last week was able to map the genome … that causes methane in ruminant animals and we believe we can vaccinate against” flatulent emissions, Mr. Goff said. Scientists in New Zealand have been working around-the-clock to reduce emissions from agriculture, such as changing the way fertilisers are used on pasture land, Mr. Goff added.
Around-the-clock? Makes you wonder what they’ll take on next. Cancer? AIDS? Human flatulence? No matter what, let me be the first to say this will still be the best thing from New Zealand since Lord of the Rings.
