Nationwide, more than 27 percent of children are born to unmarried parents, and more than 80 percent of unmarried couples split up by the time their child is 3 years old, said Lee, a counselor with the Fairfax branch of Bethany Christian Services (www.bethany.org). She coaches expecting couples and those with newborns as part of the federally funded Bethany Connections program to strengthen fragile families so that children can grow up in stable, loving homes.
What do you talk about at the classes?
We meet once per week for a month and we eat dinner together. We deal with family background differences and communications skills; values and expectations; personality differences, and turning them to strengths; and how to be successful with finances and defining commitments to each other.
What’s your best advice to young married couples?
Any kind of commitment that you make in life is going to have to withstand the ups and downs of your emotions. The question is not “are you happy at this moment?” but “what’s the best thing for the greatest number of people?”
And what are the rewards for success?
Your relationship is bigger than the two of you. If you do it well, you leave an amazing legacy. If you do it poorly, that also affects the world. Marriage is one of the few opportunities that people have truly to change the world. How we conduct our relationships — that has ramifications that last long after we’re no longer here.
How can people be a part of what you’re doing?
If you’re interested in becoming a client, call me at 571-245-9625. We’re also looking for couples to walk through this with clients. One young man told me, “I would like to find people who’ve been married a long time, and who still like each other.” So I’m looking for people who’ve been married a long time, and still like each other, and can come talk about that with the couples.
— Leah Fabel
