New Year’s is just a few days away, which means it’s time for Dave Barry’s annual Year in Review column. Here’s a taste, from the July 2008 news summary: “Barack Obama, having secured North and South America, flies to Germany without using an airplane and gives a major speech — speaking English and German simultaneously — to 200,000 mesmerized Germans, who immediately elect him chancellor, prompting France to surrender. “Meanwhile, John McCain, at a strategy session at a golf resort, tells his top aides to prepare a list of potential running mates, stressing that he wants somebody ‘who is completely, brutally honest.’ Unfortunately, because of noise from a lawnmower, the aides think McCain said he wants somebody ‘who has competed in a beauty contest.’ This will lead to trouble down the road.” Read the whole thing, as they say.