In light of the caliber of talent involved and the expectations raised by it, the derivative and irredeemably ugly “Smokin’ Aces” is the worst movie of the year.
OK, granted, the year is only one month old.
But still, that doesn’t mean it’s too early to spew all the vociferous invective a critic can muster at this poopy diaper of an uber-violent crime comedy/drama.
Negating his promisingly introduction with 2002’s hard-boiled “Narc,” director-writer Joe Carnahan practically gives himself a hernia straining to mimic the Tarantino oeuvre here. That now hackneyed template mixes up eccentric lowlifes (played by kitschy groups of showbiz A- and B-listers) in action-oriented narratives dependent on flamboyant camera tricks, hip/retro music, sick black humor and unremitting blood lust for oomph. It seemed fresh well over a decade ago during Quentin T.’s heyday as he delicately balanced wit and gore through his sincerely developed, unexpectedly sympathetic weirdo characters.
Conversely, “Smokin’ Aces” offers almost no one to love. And only the idiotic and/or mean-spirited could find its skin condition sight gags and homicide-mockery funny.
Carnahan’s melange of offbeat felons and straight-laced law enforcers are all bent on locating and either killing or corralling an obnoxious Las Vegas showman, an underworld snitch named Buddy “Aces” Israel (played with extravagance by Jeremy Piven of “Entourage”). Buddy has a million dollar bounty on his head and every mafia capo, hitman, hit woman and FBI agent within a thousand mile radius wants him. That’s the whole storyline really —except for, of course,the supposed surprise twist which I predicted to my seatmate 45 minutes before it happened.
In this tone-deaf rip-off, a couple of performers transcend a hollow script using their own appeal to provide what character color they can muster. Two recording stars in their acting debuts — soulful singer Alicia Keys as an assassin and hip-hop artist Common as Buddy’s crony — stand out among an ensemble of professional thespians, with Ray Liotta as the most effective of these. Ben Affleck is indistinct in an over-billed small role as a mustachioed bail bondman while the perennially annoying Ryan “Van Wilder” Reynolds fails to rally the audience as the movie’s intended moral center.
That’s because this rubbish really has no center — moral or otherwise. As a dismally self-conscious stab at movie cool, “Aces” is a joker.
‘Smoking Aces’
Starring: Jeremy Piven, Ray Liotta, Alicia Keys, Ben Affleck
Director: Joe Carnahan
Rated R for strong bloody violence, pervasive language, some nudity and drug use.
