EYE-OPENING STORYTIME
Last year, a Silver Spring man gave his girlfriend a copy of “Go the F–k to Sleep,” the popular, very-adult children’s book that most parents who have put a young child to sleep get a laugh at.
Recently, the man got a nighttime call from his girlfriend, who said she and her now 6-year-old son wanted to read him a bedtime story. It was that book, and what they were reading was not a Mommy-censored version.
“His eyes got real big, and his mouth went into a big ‘O’,” she recalled on the phone. “And he said, ‘Mommy! That does NOT say HECK!’ ”
IF IT’S NOT SCOTTISH …
On his way into the city, a young professional blasted Usher on his iPod, loud enough for Metro riders several seats in front of him to discern the lyrics.
An older man directly behind him, wearing a yellow polo shirt and a ferocious glare, popped in his own headphones and began blasting bagpipe music.
A woman just in front of the Usher-listener laughed and turned up some MP3 bagpipes of her own, playing the Tartan Army.
FIRST TRY’S A CHARM
A bride-to-be entered an Alexandria bridal store with a simple goal: to find the perfect wedding dress.
Her efforts seemed blue when the salesclerk informed her that she needed an appointment. “But right now is the first hour of the first day of our annual sample sale, and I just happened to have two people cancel. You can go on up.”
The bride marveled at the fortuitous timing and then, to her own surprise, bought one of the first dresses she tried on.
“It happens all the time,” the salesclerk told the happy customer.
METRO’S NOT THAT SCARY
An intern’s supervisor asked her to play tour guide for a Spanish-speaking visitor and her young son. Despite not knowing the language well, she showed them the Smithsonian and Mall, but the boy was eager to see “el tren.”
The dutiful intern led them to the Metro for the scenic Yellow Line ride over the Potomac.
“When does it do this?” the disappointed boy asked in Spanish, moving his hand up and down to indicate a roller coaster.
The intern could only shake her head, “No.”
BE PREPARED
A woman showed up early to a meeting at the Montgomery County Council office so that she could position herself where her giant poster would be clearly seen by TV crews.
The woman’s poster was nearly large enough to reflect the size of her frustration with Pepco, which left hundreds of thousands of customers in the dark for days on end after the derecho storm.
But a police officer told her she wouldn’t be allowed to hold up her sign during the meeting. “Nothing bigger than 8 1/2 by 11,” he said.
“That’s OK,” she said. “That’s why I brought small ones.”
And she whipped out a stack of small flyers.
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