Spring is upon us, a time when chiffon dresses and puffy tuxedo shirts will make their appearance on the budding bodies of America?s high school seniors. Never mind the limo rental or the helicopter flyovers ? what about getting a date for the prom? Dan and Joan offer the younger generation their gems of wisdom.
DAN: Having grown up the fat kid last picked for dodgeball ? an “After School Special” with Gary Coleman and Bert Convy waiting to happen ? I entered my high school days as a social pariah, a kid with more friends among the faculty than the student body. A pathetic mesh ofoily skin, unruly hair, Orson Welles-ish waistline, nerdy glasses and straight A?s, my entire self-worth could be found in my report card. I was, simply put, a creature completely undateable. So I never went to a mixer, a junior prom, a senior prom or any other social event that, had I attended, would have involved me standing in a corner nursing my paper cup of Hawaiian punch, desperately trying to look fascinated by a potted ficus. So my chief advice for young men hoping to secure cheerleader-caliber prom dates is, don?t be fat. Be attractive. Don?t wear Clark Kent Coke-bottle glasses. Have social skills. Works wonders, I hear.
JOAN: I had so many dates in high school, my father limited me to three a week and set my curfew at 11 p.m. during the week and midnight on weekends. Fortunately, my senior prom date and boyfriend, a college sophomore, was a lot better-looking than my gown. He was 6-foot-2, blond and hot. My gown was cotton candy-pink with white lace rows and an empire waist. I rolled in at 3 a.m. and got grounded for a month. Sorry, Danny, I had straight A?s, too.
As far as giving advice to teens about getting a date for the prom, I thought the rules had changed since we were in school. Girlfriends and guys go in groups and hang out because of the expense. I thought there wasn?t as much pressure to pair up. Also, girls ask guys today, 30 years after Women?s Liberation.
DAN: You may have had straight A?s, but it sounds like you didn?t look like the Elephant Man in a dress. Note the essence of my advice: Be good-looking. As for the tendency of young people to gather in packs rather than utilizing the 1950s Wally-Cleaver-asks-girl-out-for-a-date methodology, that?s not necessarily the case. I?ve read that college students just aren?t dating at all ? too busy preparing for their future in our happy-go-lucky-go-to-Iraq world. It used to be you didn?t get a date because you were unpopular or had a face that only a mother could love. Now it?s because these kids have soccer, classes, community service, SAT workshops and more.
JOAN: From the women I?ve interviewed, it seems the most memorable part of their senior prom was their dress, not their date. Eva Marcus, 21, who went to an all-girls private school in Baltimore, gives the following advice to high school girls thinking about a date for the prom. “Going with a close guy friend is best unless you have a steady boyfriend.” She says not worrying about anything and being comfortable about how you look in your dress is key. “Just be able to look in the mirror and say, ?Wow, I look amazing tonight.? ” Eva, who found her dress at Cachet, wanted it to be different from anyone else?s dress, and it was. “It was red and black and the bottom was cut in different lengths. It was comfortable, and I really loved it. I wish I could wear it today.”
DAN: This “going with a close guy friend” business strikes me in two ways ? one, that?s way lame, and two, way to go! As the rabbi said, “Eh, it?s only a contradiction!” On the one hand, going with “a friend” to the prom is about a half-step removed from going with a relative or as Meg in “Family Guy” experienced, her dog, Brian. That being said, this idea of “dating your best friend” is something I?m reading more about. Take Mickey Rooney. Here?s a guy who was married eight times. Talk about combat experience. As he told The New York Times, “The secret is to marry someone you like, not love ? your best friend, and whatever love is developed out of that.”
Dan Collins is a terminally single 40-something writer and local PR maven. Joan Allen is a noted matchmaker extraordinaire and author of “Celebrating Single and Getting Love Right: From Stalemate to Soulmate.”
