A viral scuffle between a politician and an attention-seeking troll just resurfaced a question for society: Where have all the real men gone?
Alex Stein, who dubs himself a “professional troll” and “right-wing comedian,” confronted Rep. Dan Crenshaw (R-TX) outside the Capitol last week. Stein shoved his phone in the former Navy SEAL’s face while labeling him a “globalist” and “eyepatch McCain” (Crenshaw lost his right eye during his third combat tour as a Navy SEAL). Unsatisfied, Stein then insulted a number of other veterans and proudly tweeted multiple clips of the incident.
Let’s be clear, an elected official, Crenshaw is not above accountability or criticism. Far from it. But the way Stein engaged with Crenshaw was bizarre, childish, and unambiguously unpleasant. This behavior reflects a growing trend of men who fail to mature, or contribute honorably to society, and instead remain emotionally stunted, acting like children in a world that needs grown ups.
Some of these men have earned labels: extremists, beta males, or incels (involuntary celibates). They’re not all one and the same, of course, but they share some common characteristics that, spread among the millions of young men in this country, don’t bode well for the rest of us. These men are often emotionally immature, misogynistic, or xenophobic, prefer games or gaslighting to solid communication, and are generally toxic. The lack of real men, for lack of a better term, is bad for everyone: women who want them as partners, children who need them as fathers, and a society that needs them as role models.
On the romantic front, women know these kinds of “men” are ubiquitous. In his prescient article published last month, “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men,” psychologist Greg Matos pointed out a truth women have been grappling with for decades: Status quo behavior, including emotional immaturity, lack of communication skills, and basic respect, won’t cut it anymore. Women have raised their standards. Until men reach them, fewer dating opportunities will be available to them. Women will choose singleness over a pairing with an unequal, immature match. The fix? Matos encouraged men to improve their character and mental health to attract a higher quality woman. The piece went viral with women nodding: Finally, a man who gets it.
Toxic men are disastrous for families. When their growing children need to be taught vital life lessons — from sex and religion to politics and relationships — this guy is physically or emotionally unavailable. He’s too busy for the responsible role of protector, role model, and confidant. Children of these boys grow up in a void.
Healthy masculinity takes many forms, and good men exist in all occupations. Good, strong men do exist, but they’re not whining on the internet. Ignore the trolls. Let’s instead exalt the men who embody the values we want our sons and daughters to have. We need them.
Nicole Russell is a contributor to the Washington Examiner’s Beltway Confidential blog. She is a journalist in Washington, D.C., who previously worked in Republican politics in Minnesota. She is an opinion columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.
