President Trump on Tuesday will follow his predecessors in the venerated tradition of sparing a turkey the finality of the Thanksgiving feast. The presidential turkey pardon demands a little humor, which means America’s commanders in chief have flocked to become the dad-jokers in chief:
1. Barack Obama “80 turkeys on John’s farm competed for the chance to make it to the White House and stay off the Thanksgiving table — it was, quite literally, the Hunger Games.”
2. George W. Bush “I am pleased to announce the winning names: They are May and Flower. They are certainly better than the names the vice president suggested, which was Lunch and Dinner.”
3. Barack Obama “It is hard to believe that this is my seventh year of pardoning a turkey — time flies, even if turkeys don’t.”
4. Bill Clinton “It’s still a bit of a mystery when exactly the first Thanksgiving was actually held — some say it was in 1513 when Ponce De Leon landed in Florida. But the expert opinions about that are divided — and a recount is still underway down there.”
5. George W. Bush “There was a nationwide election on the White House website — in the end, the voters made the choice and it was a close election. You might say it was neck and neck.”
6. Barack Obama “He is TOTUS — the turkey of the United States.”
7. Barack Obama “They also received the most important part of their media training which involves learning how to gobble without really saying anything”
8. George W. Bush “He looks pretty friendly — he actually looks well-rested. You’d be well-rested too if you had your own room in Hotel Washington here in Washington, D.C. — [interrupted by the turkey] sounds like Stars wants to give the speech.”
9. Barack Obama “For the past seven years, I’ve established another tradition — embarrassing my daughters with a corny-copia of dad jokes about turkeys. This year, they had a scheduling conflict. Actually, they just couldn’t take my jokes anymore. They were fed up.”
