We Interrupt the Campaign Coverage to Salute Greatness

Here at the Weekly Standard, we honor excellence. Thus, I am sure that all my colleagues, even the


embittered Philadelphia Eagle fans amongst them, share my enthusiasm for the New England Patriots’ perfect season and have enjoyed watching history develop nearly as much as I have. Speaking as the Standard’s resident Patriot fan, I can tell you that the Patriots’ sustained run of brilliance this decade still stuns longtime supporters of the team. It wasn’t always like this. For decades the Patriots were the worst run and most pathetic professional sports franchise in America. In the lead-up to Super Bowl XXXIX, I wrote a lengthy piece titled, “A Not So Brief History of the New England Patriots.” Highlights of the Patriots’ checkered past included:

1969 – The Patriots once again change their home for the third time in their nine year existence, this time moving to Boston College’s campus in the leafy suburb of Chestnut Hill. Things continue to go poorly for the star-crossed franchise as Coach Clive Rush nearly fatally electrocutes himself at a press conference when he grabs an ungrounded microphone. Press wags joke that if there had only been a few more amps, he would have gotten off easy. 1976 – Monday Night Football visits the Patriots at their fifth home, Schaefer Stadium, for the first time. Things don’t go well. Over 60 inebriated fans are arrested as a virtual drunken riot breaks out in the stands. Two fans die due to heart attacks brought on by the chaos. 1990 – As the team plods along in sub-mediocre fashion, off-field disaster strikes once again when several naked Patriot players verbally harass Boston Herald reporter Lisa Olson in the locker room. New owner Victor Kiam handles the crisis in a fashion so maladroit it calls to mind longtime prior owner and notorious imbecile Billy Sullivan. At a speaking engagement, Kiam asks his audience what Lisa Olson and the Iraqis (then fighting America in Gulf War I) have in common. Answer: They’re both seeing a lot of Patriot missiles. Ba-da-bum! This is perhaps an unwise tack for Kiam to take since his principal business, Remington Razor, sells many of its products to women. The scandal and the resulting boycott eventually do enough financial damage to Kiam that he has to sell the team to Robert Orthwein who intends to relocate the franchise to his St. Louis home.

That’s what it was like for the Patriots before Bill Parcells came to town in 1993 and turned the Patriots into a bona fide professional franchise. Most Patriots fans loathe Parcells, but those of us with long memories know he changed the direction of this team.

(As a Patriot fan who winters in South Florida, I look forward to Parcells transforming the Dolphins in a similar fashion, solely because the first thing he’ll likely do is finally put those wheezing gasbags from the ’72 Dolphins belatedly out to pasture. As a franchise, the Dolphins are stuck in the past. No exaggeration – they honor the ’72 team in some fashion literally every other home game. Parcells will force the Dolphins and their fans to finally live in the present.) LAST NIGHT’S GAME was a brilliant advertisement for professional football. It also showed what differentiates the Patriots from ordinary playoff teams. When other teams lose their poise, the Patriots get better and smarter. This trait comes from their coach, who is two Super Bowl titles away from having Vince Lombardi as his only coaching peer. Every week, you see the opposing coach ranting like a lunatic or making foolish challenges (or in Tom Coughlin’s case, both), while Belichick on the opposite sideline calmly diagrams formations for his defense and flawlessly manages the game. The evening’s festivities also introduced most of the country to the NFL Network. Not that my opinion matters, but I consider the NFL Network a national treasure, flawed only by Bryant Gumbel’s annoying presence in the broadcast booth for three hours every week. There’s something gravely wrong with a country where virtually every home with cable has Bravo, but only 35% have the NFL Network. Will the Patriots win the Super Bowl and fulfill their 19-0 destiny? You’d be hard pressed to find a Patriot fan who has much doubt on the matter. But I’m one. I’m keenly aware that the Patriots will have to get past three very difficult opponents in the playoffs, and the painful memories of their ludicrous past still linger. They’ll probably go all the way, but still… For this morning anyway, 16-0 is quite a thing.

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