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In the wake of President Obama’s speech Monday marking the first anniversary of the Lehman Brothers collapse, experts said the president’s push to institute a raft of new financial industry regulations would likely hit Straw Men hardest.
The Straw Men, a shadowy group of anonymous persons who reportedly believe all government regulation is evil, any regulation at all restricts choice by consumers and the current crisis calls for a return to reckless behavior, are also frequently known as “some who say” or “those who believe.”
“No matter what the topic, Obama goes after us,” said an unnamed spokesman for Straw Men. “We’re practically the only minority in the country that it’s still acceptable to discriminate against and slander in public.”
The organization has repeatedly attempted to meet with the president but can’t get past White House “gatekeepers” because of its radical agenda of opposing all progress, working for a return to the failed policies of the past and its unstinting advocacy of the status quo.
“Free speech is apparently the franchise of a precious few,” the Straw Men source said. “If you have solutions to our nation’s problems or back a vast expansion of government to restrain the greed of the private sector, then you can talk all you want. But if, like my fellow Straw Men, you happen to believe in obstructionism, you get muzzled.”
Obama used the speech Monday in New York City to outline what he called “the most ambitious overhaul of the financial system since FDR’s regulatory scheme caused and extended the Great Depression.”
Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world’s leading family-friendly news satire source.
