Montgomery County elementary teacher Meredith McNerney received news on her 31st birthday that she had a rare and aggressive skin cancer requiring three major surgeries to remove. Three years later, McNerney has survived her ordeal and has gone on to write “Facing Cancer: A Spiritual Journey from Pain to Peace,” and to found A Message of Hope, a fund to assist families with the financial burden of surviving the disease. McNerney’s foundation has raised nearly $200,000, and will host its annual gala on May 8 in Gaithersburg. She shared with the Washington Examiner thoughts on her faith, and how a battle with cancer transformed and strengthened it.
Do you consider yourself to be of a specific faith?
I am Catholic, and my husband and I are raising our daughters in the Catholic faith. But even more important to me is having a personal relationship with Christ that transcends all religions. That’s more important to me than anything, because it reminds me to trust God, and to love others in a way that would make God proud.
You’ve said that surviving cancer has taught you that all you have control over is how you handle what you can’t control. How do you?
I really believe that attitude is everything, so I challenge myself to be the most positive person I encounter on a daily basis. And I ask God to walk with me — I pray, “God, be with me today — I’m going to reach out to you, and I know you’ll be there.”
I remember a time I had an enormous bandage on my face, and my mom took me to CVS for some supplies. I knew I could walk in there and put my head down and be so ashamed, but I didn’t. I made a choice to hold my head up high — it really is a choice — and to smile and make conversation with the clerk. It’s amazing how much people will open up to you when you decide to be a person of faith, and strength, and positive attitude.
On the cover of your book is an picture of you looking into a mirror and seeing the wound on your face. What happened in the moment when looking into a mirror stopped hurting?
I remember it so clearly. After my second surgery to remove the cancer, I literally had a hole in my face. I sat on the bathroom floor in front of the mirror, and staring at all of these bandages, and I prayed — I asked God to give me the strength to look at myself again. And the first feeling that enveloped me was just knowing how much I was loved, and that whatever it looked like underneath the bandages, at the end of the day the people I loved would still love me, and I could still be who I am — I could still smile, I could still laugh, I could still play with my daughters. I knew this would never, ever take my soul. I remember having that conversation in my head, and when I pulled back the bandages, I began to smile, because I was pleased with the person looking back at me. I was actually proud of that person who had made the choice to continue on.
Did that experience change how you looked at others?
Absolutely. It helped me to understand that everyone has a story, and we’re all put here to live that story — to go through hardship, and then to mentor and guide and nourish and love each other’s spirit. Instead of judging people, it’s helped me to see that they may be acting how they’re acting because of their own story — whether positively or negatively. I don’t get angry as much anymore with people’s actions — I don’t really view things that way. Instead, I see that’s where they are at the moment, and I pray they get to the place at which they can use whatever they’re going through to become their best self, and give to others.
At your core, what is one of your defining beliefs?
As a mother, a daughter, a wife and a teacher, I’m reminded each day that ordinary people are called to make a difference in extraordinary ways. At my core, then, I believe that we are all called to serve one another. And at the end of the day, that’s how we get the most joy in life — by loving God with all of our hearts, and loving our neighbors as ourselves.
— Leah Fabel
