P.M. Forni is a Johns Hopkins professor and author of “Choosing Civility,” the guide for civility campaigns across the country, including in Howard County. Forni spoke with The Examiner about rude people.
What are the barriers to being civil?
Lack of time, stress and anonymity are three major reasons for the insurgence of incivility. Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation in which the three are present at the same time, such as in traffic. That is a mixture that makes us sometimes make bad decisions and do things we regret.
What?s the solution?
The secret is to be prepared. My new book coming out in June is called “The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude.” The best possible scenario is when you prevent rudeness from happening in the first place. If you are civil with others, if you project an aura of being considerate and kind, very often others will respond in kind. … My suggestion is whenever you are not putting yourself in physical danger, you [bring] the act of rudeness to the attention of the person who has perpetrated it, especially with friends and family. If you keep repressing your anger when people treat you in ways you feel is objectionable, you may explode.
Since “Choosing Civility” was published six years ago, are people more civil?
I don?t think so. I don?t have hard data to say that, but in the last 10 years or so civility has become part of the national discussion agenda. We are talking about the crisis of civility in the United States and what to do about it much more than 10 or 15 years ago.
