Last: Weird New Hampshire

Concord, New Hampshire Today is, paradoxically, a quiet news day in New Hampshire. The candidates jet from spot to spot and, aside from the rumors of internal staff shake-ups, there’s nothing really to report until the results start coming in this evening. So, for your entertainment, here are the three most entertaining non-stories from the last week, just in case you missed them: Sununu as hero! Last Friday night Sen. John Sununu saved the life of journalist Al Hunt. At a dinner, Hunt began choking on a piece a chicken and Sununu rushed to the rescue, performing a perfectly executed Heimlich maneuver. Mickey Kaus studies Ice-T? Here’s Kaus’s account of a strange incident he was involved in:

Gave three women a ride to their motel from the Radisson. Was pulled over by police who suspected we were … part of America’s growing service sector. Where is Ron Paul when you need him?

Too. Many. Jokes. Vermin Supreme. The NH primary always brings out wacky protest candidates. The most entertaining one I’ve seen is Vermin Supreme, who walks around with a boot on his head and uses a megaphone to keep up a steady stream of Dada-esque patter. His shtick might be categorized as “self-conscious/crazy.” Here’s a sample from his website:

He’s the time travel candidate from the future. What we call our nation’s Capitol has become a stinking swamp of vice and corporate cronyism, special interests, and literally billions of dirty dollars. It’s time that one man got a piece of that swamp pie. It’s time that Vermin Supreme got a little of that dirty, dirty money! … No longer should people have to choose between the vanilla and chocolate of a two-party system. America has a new choice. Vermin Supreme! A chocolate-vanilla swirl! Possibly dipped in chocolate or maybe with sprinkles! Vermin Supreme promises: No flying monkeys in the streets of New York! To do something about the weather! Computer chip implants for all Americans! The legalization of human meat! Bigger family values! To make crime against the law! Vermin Supreme will protect you and your children, from the voices in his head, thru whatever means necessary.

It’s actually funnier in person, because he’s (sort of) in on the joke. It’s half Ron Paul and half Gallagher.

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