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With Ronald Reagan dead these five years, a divided Republican Party, lost in the wilderness and seeking a unifying voice, has apparently turned to a local man to cast a vision for a bold, successful electoral future.
Samir “Jeff” Abdullah-Gomez, a resident of the 1600 block of U Street SE, in the Anacostia section of D.C., said he had no previous interest in politics until Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele “showed up on my front porch asking me to be the voice of the Republican Party.”
“I’m only lightly-employed at the moment, so the timing worked out well,” said Abdullah-Gomez, who recently lost his full-time job when the payday loan firm he worked for succumbed to competition from seven other similar stores on the same block of nearby Good Hope Road.
An unnamed spokesman said the RNC had turned to Abdullah-Gomez in an effort to “broaden the tent, and reach some demographics that don’t resonate with the divisive rhetoric of Rush Limbaugh, Newt Gingrich and Dick Cheney. We think Jeff represents the hope for the future of the Republican Party — less ideological, more down to earth.”
The local man said he has not had time to solidify his positions on issues like the size and scope of government, the morality and practicality of taxpayer-funded corporate bailouts, the propriety of government funding for abortion, or the proper role of American power in the geo-political realm. In November, he voted for Barack Obama, but says he would have voted for John McCain if the latter “hadn’t looked so grumpy.”
As for his qualifications to be the voice of the GOP, Abdullah-Gomez said, “I’m just a normal guy trying to put food on the table, keep my kids out of jail, and save up enough each month to cover my digital cable bill and my big screen TV rental. I guess I’m typical of Obama’s America, and the Republicans are starting to realize that if they’re going to win, they need to put a human face on their own distinct version of hope and change.”
Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the family-friendly news satire site, and anchor of ScrappleFace Network News, seen on YouTube.
