Saturday night’s annual White House Correspondents’ dinner was the subject of much debate, handwringing, and ultimately, a “will not attend” from President Trump. Yet when the champagne got flowing, the roasting was every bit as brutal as years’ past. Here are some of the top zingers from “Daily Show” correspondent and dinner host Hasan Minhaj.
Introducing himself:
“Welcome to the season finale of the White House Correspondents’ dinner. My name is Hasan Minhaj, or as I’ll be known in a few weeks, number 830287.”
"My name is Hasan Minhaj, or as I'll be known, #830287." #WHCD2017 pic.twitter.com/QZpyveXj0m— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 30, 2017
On being selected to host:
“No one wanted to do this gig, so it fell into the arms of an immigrant, just like it always does.”
On President Trump declining an invitation:
“I get why Donald Trump didn’t want to be roasted tonight, by the looks of him he’s been roasting for the past 70 years.”
The real reason the president didn’t attend:
“We gotta address the elephant that’s not in the room. The leader of our country is not here. And that’s because he lives in Moscow.”
"The leader of our country is not here. And that's because he lives in Moscow." #WHCD2017 pic.twitter.com/aBnQdlfWkI— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 30, 2017
On the fact that Trump doesn’t drink alcohol:
“You know Donald Trump doesn’t drink, right? He does not touch alcohol, which is oddly respectable. But think about that. That means every statement, every interview, every tweet, completely sober. How is that possible?” Why Trump doesn’t drink.
Hasan Minhaj: Donald Trump doesn't drink. "That means every statement, every interview, every tweet is completely sober." pic.twitter.com/guxRPMTvPx— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 30, 2017
And yet he tweets at 3 a.m.:
“Who is tweeting at 3 a.m. sober? Donald Trump, because it’s 10:00 a.m. in Russia. Those are business hours.”
Hasan Minhaj: "Who is tweeting at 3 a.m. sober? Donald Trump because it's 10:00 a.m. in Russia. Those are business hours." #WHCD2017 pic.twitter.com/SoDYNnGBAH— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 30, 2017
On Trump golfing:
“Why do you care? Do you wanna know what he’s not doing when he’s golfing? Being president. Let the man putt-putt. Keep him distracted. Teach him how to play badminton; tell him he has a great body for bobsledding; play him tic-tac-toe. The longer you keep him distracted, the longer we’re not at war with North Korea. Every time Donald Trump goes golfing, the headlines should read: Trump Golfing, Apocalypse Delayed.”
Hasan Minhaj: "Why do you care" when Trump is golfing? At least he's not being president. #WHCD2017 pic.twitter.com/k7YNHYVKgJ— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 30, 2017
On Steve Bannon:
“A lot of people think that Steve Bannon is the reason that Donald Trump dog whistles to racists, and that is just not true. Ask Steve Bannon. Is Steve Bannon here? I do not see Steve Bannon…not see Steve Bannon…Nazi Steve Bannon.”
On Vice President Pence’s absence from the dinner:
“Mike Pence wanted to be here tonight but his wife woudn’t let him, because apparently one of you ladies is ovulating. Good job, ladies. Because of you we couldn’t hang out with Mike Pence.”
Minhaj: "Mike Pence wanted to be here tonight but his wife wouldn't let him, because apparently one of you ladies is ovulating." #WHCD2017 pic.twitter.com/hHbOTnPdOE— Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) April 30, 2017
On Rachel Maddow’s reporting on Trump’s tax returns on MSNBC:
“I don’t know what you think you’re going to find in there, but there’s not going to be a line item that says, ‘Bribes from Russia.’ You’re the liberal news outlet … I want to root for you guys but you’re turning into conspiracy theorists … We’re only on day 100. By the end of the year you’re all going to have tinfoil hats and jars of urine all over your desks.”
On the media incorrectly predicting the outcome of the presidential election:
“Remember election night? That was your Steve Harvey Miss Universe moment.”
Looking for more? Watch the full White House Correspondents’ dinner here.
Daniel Chaitin, Meghana Kurup, Kimberly Leonard, Madeleine Morgenstern and Philip Wegmann contributed.
