No offense, but the next time I hear Michelle Obama lecture me about feeding kids locally farmed kumquats, I’ll be forced to pile my family into an SUV and hit the Burger King drive-through just to snap my psyche back into proper equilibrium.

As hard as I try, there is no evading the first lady’s maternal gaze — or her magic organic vegetable garden — these past few weeks as she zigzags the media landscape talking about her anti-childhood-obesity campaign, Let’s Move.

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