I wonder whether God hears the prayers of frustrated sports fans. Not those who pray for their team to win a World Series or a Super Bowl or a Stanley Cup, but ones who simply pray for better food at the ballpark.
I see ballplayers cross themselves as they come up to the plate. I see them pointing heavenward, giving all the credit to the Great Almighty for the touchdown they just scored. But I have yet to hear a fan at a ballgame utter these words, “Thank you, God for this fabulous meal.” Truly, I want to know why sports food has to be so awful. I eat this garbage all summer long as my husbandand I sit at Orioles games. It?s bad enough that we have to watch the team play poorly. Do we also have to endure dry burgers, greasy fries and less-than-mediocre crab cakes? Not to mention the doughy pizza, high-fat nachos and weak lemonade. Can?t someone open a stand that sells fabulous deli sandwiches, fresh salads and some nice fruit salad for dessert?
And what?s up with the hot dog guy that comes through the stands? Have you noticed the sanitary latex glove he wears? I assume this is meant to make you feel you’re getting a nice clean frank, but let?s be honest here. He?s handling the dog with the same glove he uses to count out your change. You?re not just eating your own hot dog. You?re eating a hot dog that?s been touched by every hand that touched the money he?s touching!
It?s not just baseball food I?m talking about. After the summer’s over, I eat more of the same fare at the new Comcast Center at College Park when the college basketball season gets underway. I?m not a football fan, so I can’t vouch for the food at M & T Bank Stadium. I can only assume it’s the same. How is it we get these fabulous new arenas, but the food never changes?
Why, even the folks at Baltimore Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport have figured out that travelers want more food choices. Somehow security lines don’t seem quite as bad when you can have a little latte before you board the plane. Doesn?t it make sense that fans who pay outrageous sums for a seat at the game would like something really good to eat? After all, it?s not like the current offerings are exactly cheap. I personally would be willing to pay an even bigger percentage of my paycheck for something that doesn?t taste like cardboard and make my cholesterol level spike to 300.
So, come on, folks. Let’s hear it for the team. Let?s support our Maryland athletes. And while you?re at it, let’s say a little prayer for some decent food.
Deborah Stone spent 15 years as a reporter and anchor at WJZ-TV and is currently a freelance writer.
