“Bride Wars” declares itself for women even as they suffer most as its casualties.
Yet another demeaning Hollywood distortion of what women want in a movie and who women really are in society and to each other, this Bridezilla comedy adds to what has become an annual rite. It follows down the aisle after last year’s similarly pandering “27 Dresses” and other recent specimens in the cinematic nuptial ghetto. (see: “The Wedding Date,” “Made of Honor,” “The Wedding Planner,” etc.) This vapid chick flick subgenre presumes that said chicks will pay to see anything involving a veil and a white frock.
As its stars Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson have promoted the film on TV this week, they have both been spinning with the same publicist-coached hooey: “But, uh, you see, ‘Bride Wars’ is really all about female friendship.”
Puh-leeze!
As directed by a man (Gary Winick) and scripted by a committee of at least three credited writers (Greg DePaul, Casey Wilson and June Diane Raphael), this is a movie about female catfighting, female materialism and female emotionalism that altogether paints a tableaux of female irrationality and disloyalty. But, hey, it’s got a fabulous Vera Wang gown, a monstrous Tiffany’s diamond solitaire and two pretty movie stars in orange fake tan and stringy blue hair, respectively.
So just shut up and sit still, Little Lady, and be happy with that.
If you’ve seen the commercials, in essence, you’ve already seen “Bride Wars.”
Thanks to way, way too much plot contrivance, two lifelong best friends — supposedly! — end up in the girlie-girl equivalent of thermonuclear combat after their fancy wedding planner (Candice Bergen) accidentally schedules their dream June weddings at Manhattan’s famed Plaza on the exact same date and at the exact same time.
What are the odds?
The writers obviously have no idea about real best friends if they think that events would ever be allowed to happen as they do in this story. Sure, it is only a movie. But it is impossible to suspend disbelief here as a high-powered corporate attorney-at-law (Hudson’s character Liv) melts down to ruin her career over a bad dye job and a mild-mannered schoolteacher (Hathaway’s Emma) turns overnight into the Incredible Hulk of brides-to-be over a save-the-date notice.
The performances are fine. The narrative zips along efficiently enough. But devoid of identifiable characters or scenarios, the insulting “Wars” loses.
Quick Info
“Bride Wars”
2 out of 5 Stars
Stars: Anne Hathaway, Kate Hudson, Candice Bergen
Director: Gary Winick
Rated PG for suggestive content, language and some rude behavior
Running Time: 90 minutes
