A look at these off-the-wall bills show that lawmakers may have way too much time on their hands. Still, maybe there should be a black bear for every backyard, and maybe construction workers do need to pee in flush toilets, and maybe Maryland really does need an official state dessert. Let?s take a vote …
Share the bears
» The proposal requires the state to create a program to ensure that black bears live in each Maryland county, excluding Baltimore City, by Oct. 1, 2015.
» The sponsor: Del. Wendell Beitzel, R-Garrett.
» Status: In House committee. No Senate action.
Mind your own business.
That?s the message from this bill?s sponsor to his urban colleagues who have never encountered a black bear in their barn or stealing an air conditioning unit. Beitzel says bears are increasingly venturing onto front porches, halting traffic and rummaging through trash in Western Maryland. And he?s annoyed with city folks and their pesky “Save The Bear” campaigns.
If they love bears so much, Beitzel says, they can have some.
“I wouldn?t want them in Prince George?s or Montgomery counties, where they would just get hit by cars,” Beitzel said. “But why do folks in Prince George?s and Montgomery counties try to tell us how to manage our bear population? They don?t understand it.”
Beitzel?s “take that” bill has failed for the past three years, but so has a proposal to stop the state?s bear hunt, which former Gov. Robert Ehrlich reinstated in 2004. The anti-hunt proposal is sponsored by Del. Barbara Frush, a Democrat from ? yup ? Prince George?s County.
And the air conditioning unit? That really happened, to Charlotte Stanton last September. Stanton battled a rabid black bear who abandoned attempts to get in her Garrett County house through the front door and pried off a window air conditioning unit. The two played tug of war over the unit until Stanton?s husband loaded his shotgun and poked it through a crack in the window.
Her take on the Annapolis battle?
“It doesn?t matter what they do,” Stanton said. “They can?t control the actions of a bear, so, for now, I will control them.”
Flushing fairness
» The bill prevents the state or local governments from issuing building permits for a construction project that costs at least $500,000 unless the construction site has a bathroom for workers.
» The sponsors: Del. Shane Pendergrass, D-Howard, Sen. Kathy Klausmeier, D-Baltimore.
» Status: House hearing scheduled March 12. In Senate committee.
Construction workers are tired of peeing in the woods, says Annapolis lobbyist Bud Schuler. Especially when project managers, engineers and secretaries often get a cushy trailer that has a bathroom with a toilet that actually flushes.
Schuler, who represents construction and plumbing unions, is the force behind this bill, which would require construction sites to provide a bathroom with running water ? and soap, clean water and towels or other “hand drying devices” ? for the laborers.
“We?re looking for some relief here,” Schuler said.
Really, he said that.
Construction companies that would have to pay to provide toilets ? which cost between $1,500 and $2,000 a month each, according to Joe Butts at Handy Johns ? are opposing the bill. Bruce Bereano, a lobbyist for that side, called the whole thing ridiculous.
And the bill, he said, leaves many questions unanswered: Do you have to have one bathroom for men and another for women? Can an inspector shut down a site if there aren?t any paper towels? What if you run out of soap or it?s not properly ventilated?
“It?s creating a Taj Mahal bathroom,” Bereano said. “You?re outside at a construction site. Get with it.”
Feeding Frenzy
» The legislation prohibits a person from force-feeding a bird to produce foie gras, and from selling or transporting any food that is the result of force-feeding a bird. Violators would face a fine of up to $1,000 per day.
» The sponsors: Sen. Joan Carter Conway, D-Baltimore City, Del. Tanya Shewell, R-Carroll.
» Status: House hearing scheduled March 11. In Senate committee.
Legislators Tuesday took a break from debating budget cuts and global warming to consider if overfed ducks can walk and the fortitude of goose gullets.
In all seriousness, dozens of animal rights advocatestestified on what they called the inhumane force-feeding of ducks to produce prized delicacy foie gras. They want Maryland to join California, the city of Chicago and about one dozen countries that have banned the dish, which is French for “fatty liver.”
And if that?s not enough, the pope, renowned chef Wolfgang Puck, Paul McCartney and Pat Buchanan think it?s a good idea, too.
“If they can all agree on something …” said Paul Shapiro of the Gaithersburg-based Humane Society of the United States.
Conway championed the bill on behalf of the late Sen. Gwendolyn Britt, an animal lover who died in January. But even Conway acknowledged the bill may be too “far-reaching” and said she considered pulling it but wanted everyone to have a chance to be heard.
Indeed, as written, the bill would also outlaw baby food, sausage and hot dogs that are made with other parts of force-fed birds, according to state agriculture officials.
But that?s for the commoners. It would also be the end to Tournedos Rossini at Aldo?s in Baltimore?s Little Italy: their signature dish of filet mignon topped with foie gras and black truffle and mushroom sauce.
“We do this at an enormous cost,” said Sergio Vitale of the Little Italy restaurant. “It accounts for $192,000 in annual sales.”
The ?Beer? bill
» The bill changes the state?s definition of “beer” to include malt beverages.
» The sponsors: Del. Mary Ann Love, D-Anne Arundel, Sen. Richard Colburn, R-Dorchester.
» Status: In House committee. Senate hearing March 7.
Everyone knows adult drinks such as hard cider, mojitos in abottle and spiked fruit punch are just plain girly.
So can they be compared to true beers such as Miller, Guinness and the king, Budweiser?
It was a question for all time, and Del. David Rudolph, a Cecil County Democrat, had the answer.
Hell no!
“I never thought a Mike?s Hard Lemonade or Smirnoff Ice would be called a beer,” an incredulous Rudolph said. “How do you compare something like Smirnoff Ice to Smithwicks?”
The debate seemed more appropriate for a frat house than a House committee room, but lawmakers have a financial interest in determining if malt beverages should count as beer. Existing law classifies malt beverages as distilled spirits, but the Comptroller?s Office taxes them as beer, which is 9 cents per gallon compared to $1.50 for spirits.
Maryland Attorney General Doug Gansler weighed in on the issue, saying that beer includes ale, porter and stout, but not a beverage that mixes a distilled spirit ? alcohol, brandy, cordials, gin, liqueur, rum, whiskey ? with beer.
He said malt beverages appeal to “entry level” drinkers, and the bill would make them cheaper for kids.
Jerry Chao, a proud brother of the University of Maryland, College Park?s Beta Theta Pi fraternity and self-described “pretty regular drinker” also says the bill is absurd.
But on slightly different principle.
“You would never see Hank Williams Jr. caught dead with one of those malt beverages,” Chao said.
Let them eat cake
» The legislation designates “Smith Island Cake” the official state dessert.
» The sponsors: Del. Page Elmore, R-Eastern Shore, Sen. Lowell Stolzfus, R-Eastern Shore.
» Status: In House committee. In Senate committee.
Even Sen. Lowell thought designating an official state dessert could be a, well, trifling, matter.
But the more Stolzfus mulled a request to dub the “Smith Island Cake” Maryland?s official dessert, the more excited he got. And hungry.
He?s persuaded majorities in both assembly chambers to support the proposal, a toast to a confection that consists of many (usually 10) thin layers of cake separated by layers of icing. There?s no set recipe: The cake works in any combination of flavors and fillings. Mary Ada Marshall, 60, uses a box mix.
Duncan Hines, to be specific.
“Guests think you?ve been at it all day,” the lifelong Smith Islander said.
The proposal has drawn little opposition. There was some banter about Berger cookies, Baltimore-grown marvels heaped with fudgy icing. One confused person suggested the crab cake should be awarded the title.
Helloooo. It?s state dessert, not state cake.
Lawmakers, also, have little comment on the issue. Just pass the forks, they say.
“I just have one question,” state Sen. Roy Dyson, a St. Mary?s County Democrat, said at a hearing Thursday. “How do you get all those layers in there?”
