News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.
With the explosive growth of the ‘angry mob’ industry sparked by Democrat attempts to pass government-run health care legislation, a local man has just inked a deal with a major pharmaceutical company including a payday said to approach seven figures.
David Sassman, 67, of suburban Arlington, is “a man at the peak of his game” according to the July issue of ‘Disorderly Conservative’ magazine.
“When it comes to composing and leading chants, designing signs and orchestrating protests at Democrat townhall meetings that appear spontaneous, Sassman stands head and shoulders above the hundreds of other professionals in the field,” the magazine reported.
For his part, the retired auto mechanic sought to play down his role.
“It’s really a team effort,” said Sassman. “To get a bunch of people from all walks of life to show up and look like a spontaneous gathering takes a lot of coordination, and it takes big-time backing from monied special interests. For our last townhall frenzy, the magic marker budget alone would blow your mind.”
Sassman is not the only covert conservative activist earning an NFL-class paycheck to produce realistic-looking grassroots outrage, but his salary from an unnamed Big Pharma firm puts him at the top of a growing list of superstar performers, plucked from obscurity by Republican party operatives.
“Frankly, all of these so-called ‘average citizens’ stick to the playbook just as we wrote it,” said an anonymous GOP strategist who has Rush Limbaugh’s personal cell number on speed dial. “But David’s ability to look like an inarticulate rube while running street ops with military precision would be cheap at twice the price.”
Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the family-friendly news satire site, and anchor of ScrappleFace Network News, seen on YouTube.
