WHEN THE BOSS IS AWAY …
It’s not all work and no play in buttoned-up D.C.
A downtown political communications honcho returned from his summer vacation to find his office floor entirely covered in neat, tight lines of Dixie cups.
How many Dixie cups? 1,200 in all, including cups stacked in an impressively high tower on his desk. His pranking staff’s final touch was filling each of the cups with water to delay his entry into his office that much more.
But he need not worry that this meant his staff had been slacking in his absence. Their efficiency and teamwork got the whole thing done in 20 minutes.
BUT HAS HE TRIED THE TRAFFIC CIRCLES?
After roughly three weeks of traveling everywhere in Northern Virginia with either a GPS or a map — or just not traveling — an Alexandria man decided he could find his way to the National Mall on his own. Plus, his friend was in town, so he wanted to look like he knew what he was doing.
Much to his surprise, he made the eight miles from his apartment to the Mall all on his own. He even found a place to park.
The two friends got out, walked as close as they could get to the Washington Monument, sat by the World War II fountain and killed time walking on the Mall.
Still cocky from his brilliant driving on the way down, the man decided he could navigate his way to the highway and back home again without GPS assistance as well. Fifteen minutes later they were at his apartment.
“I don’t think I’d be able to navigate those roads downtown,” the man’s friend said upon their arrival. “I’m impressed.”
“Yeah, driving around here isn’t for everyone,” the man said, secretly knowing he’d likely get lost the next time he drives anywhere. “I’ve got it down.”
THE GIFT OF SMOKE
One busy morning, Carla Milan left the Virginia Railway Express station at L’Enfant Plaza and went straight to the nearby Metro station across the street.
While she was waiting at the light, an impatient man who had been on the same train ran out into the street and between the cars, leaving his fellow riders behind.
When the Woodbridge woman finally reached Metro, she saw the same man giving a Marlboro box to a female newspaper hawker. He told the hawker that he wanted to share his brand new box of cigarettes with her because she was so nice. She was surprised, and with her usual smile took the box, thanked him and kept handing out newspapers.
While he was taking the stairs down to the station platform, she finally said, “Have a good day, sir, and a longer life.”
THEY LEARN EARLY
The Blue Line train had come to a halt in the tunnel between Arlington Cemetery and the Pentagon during the evening rush hour.
Commuters were cramped up against one another, sweating and, as usual, waiting.
An elementary school-aged boy visiting the District with his family had lucked out with a seat. Looking around and seeing the train stopped, he loudly asked — over and over again — “Why aren’t we moving? Will the train ever move?”
A man standing nearby overheard the boy and muttered, “Even the visiting kids catch on quick about Metro.”
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