If you were surprised by the elimination of Michael Johns, you clearly haven’t been reading this space, which slotted the now-axed Aussie ahead of only the seemingly invincible Kristy Lee Cook. The story of this season is rapidly becoming how long can the Lil’ Engine That Could stay on the tracks, because Kristy Lee is noticably outclassed at this stage of the competition. I, for one, can hardly make heads or tails of it. But there it is. At least Sanjaya was funny.
DAVID ARCHULETA, 17
» Murray, Utah
Around this time last season, critics and fans rallied around astoundingly gifted Melinda Doolitttle, who night after night gave out first-rate vocal diamonds. It was her show to win … and she didn’t. This season, David is again the overwhelming favorite — and yet the buzz hasn’t seemed to sound as loudly. Does this again spell doom?
Fuller Power Rank: 1
Vegas odds: 10/11
Turn up or tune out: No, it doesn’t. The biggest reason: age. Melinda was 29; David is 17. It helps a lot that David’s best performances appear to be in front of him. Turn up.
BROOKE WHITE, 24
One reader remarked that Brooke appeared more like 34 than 24 years old. “Does ‘Idol’ check birth certificates?” she asked. This made me laugh as I recalled the Little League scandal from a few years ago, as if Brooke was a sizable 14-year-old whizzing fastballs by puny 12-year-olds. Only, in this case, wouldn’t the opposite be more advantageous? (See argument above.)
Fuller Power Rank: 2
Vegas odds: 14/1
Turn up or tune out: Simon said it best: Brooke is like a “pleasant walk in the park.” What’s not to like about that, folks? Turn up.
JASON CASTRO, 20
» Rockwall, Texas
Jason’s quirky, lighthearted “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” ukulele performance fitted his talents and personality like a comfy white T-shirt. It was one of the finest efforts of the season. Bonus question: Was his rendition better than the same show-stopping number performed by Katharine McPhee two seasons back?
Fuller Power Rank: 3
Vegas odds: 12/1
Turn up or tune out: Jason bumps up a slot partly because of personal preference, and partly because I believe when Jason’s “on,” he’s one the best entertainers here. Turn up.
DAVID COOK, 25
» Blue Springs, Mo.
During sugary-sweet inspirational-songs week, David was a fish out of water, Teri Hatcher at a pie eating contest. His “Innocent” was awkward and bad. (Cue needle-on-the-record scratch; party stops.)
Fuller Power Rank: 4
Vegas odds: 11/4
Turn up or tune out: In polar opposition to Jason, David demonstrated that when he’s “off,” he reveals his glaring inferiority. Sure, David has some fans, but I think a poor outing or two, and this clown’s got to go. Tune out.
KRISTY LEE COOK, 24
» Selma, Ore.
This is a head-scratcher. Is she really that pretty? Do country folk really stick to their own that steadfastly? Is her girl-next-door charm really that endearing? I love pulling for underdogs; I love the concept of supporting a stinker to really stick it to The Man. I guess I just thought that rooting for the runt of the litter would be a heckuva lot more fun.
Fuller Power Rank: 5
Vegas odds: 25/1 (Note: Last week, her odds were 125/1!)
Turn up or tune out: Kristy Lee may be here to stay. Four years ago, we had another election result that left me puzzled. A philosophical light bulb popped on over my head: I don’t connect with the mind-set of my American brothers and sisters as well as I thought. Tune out.
SYESHA MERCADO, 21
First she was Whitney. Then she was Fantasia. When is Syesha going to be Syesha? Better yet: When is Syesha going to be Marilyn Manson? This fantastic Floridian has a great voice, she’s picking great songs — she just needs a small sprinkle of that magic pixie dust. She’s close … but will she ignite in time?
Fuller Power Rank: 6
Vegas odds: 25/1
Turn up or tune out: As with Michael Johns, we may be waiting for an explosion that never arrives. Side note: I think Syesha needs to ramp up the va-va-voom sexiness factor. Sex sells, babe! Turn up.
CARLY SMITHSON, 24
Returning to awkward: Carly sang Queen’s “The Show Must Go On.” I immediately wished I could have heard Freddie Mercury instead (is any singer harder to emulate?). On the falling hard and fast scale, Carly is bested only by David Hernandez, Eliot Spitzer, Britney Spears, the American dollar and my golf handicap.
Fuller Power Rank: 7
Vegas odds: 10/1
Turn up or tune out: Carly is visibly losing her confidence. Not good. (Another side note: Carly falls into that category of people who are far more attractive when they don’t smile — oh, come on, you know exactly what I’m talking about.) For this Irish “Idol,” the show will not go on. Tune out.
