AGING HOLLYWOOD boy-stars, the rise of men’s vanity mags, the mania for a hair-free bod going mainstream: These are the usual suspects in a hairless man investigation. But now this trademark mix of literary hijinks and old-fashioned social criticism has broken new ground. Last week, the pursuit of this cultural signifier became an international hairless manhunt.
Two suspected terrorists–carrying telltale box cutters, much cash, and copies of forged passports–were arrested in Texas on September 12. As reported by the New York Times, the men had “shaved most of the hair on their bodies.” The Federal Bureau of Investigation took this as an indication that the two suspects were ready to die. The suspects’ shaven state comported with instructions found in the luggage of Mohamed Atta, suspected ringleader of the September 11 attacks. “Shave excess hair from the body and wear cologne,” the instructions said. Oh, and “take an oath to die.”
The Times quoted Nihad Awad, executive director of the now-notorious Council on American Islamic Relations: “Nothing in the Koran or the teachings of the Prophet talks of [shaving the body] . . . It really makes no sense.” An American scholar of Islam, interviewed by yours truly, seconds this opinion. “No, that’s some kind of gay thing,” he said, though conceding he had little on which to base this opinion. The Muslims he’d studied had always been clothed.
Others have since offered their thoughts on the subject. One student of Islam, who goes by the nomme de web Sadiqi Az-Ziniki (meaning The Unbelieving Righteous One), says he has found textual authority for a shave before dying in Sahih Bukhari. This text, highly esteemed by Sunni Muslims, is part of the Hadith, a collection of narratives relating the words and deeds of Muhammad.
In this hadith (a hadith refers to one narrative, a hadeeth refers to plural narratives), there are several mentions of depilation. Muhammad is reported as saying, “Five practices are characteristic of the Fitra: circumcision, shaving the pubic hair, cutting the mustache short, clipping the nails, and depilating the hair of the armpits.” In a separate hadith also from the Sahih Bukhari, Muhammad is quoted as saying, “Do the opposite of what the pagans do.”
Another hadith tells a particularly weird story about cleanliness. In it, a prisoner shaves his pubic hairs in anticipation of his death and martyrdom. And after this Gillette moment, says a female witness, “he took a son of mine. . . I saw him placing my son on his thigh and the razor was in his hand. I got scared so much that he noticed the agitation on my face and said, ‘Are you afraid that I will kill him? No, I will never do so.'”
That ending about shaving the son’s pubic hairs is really weird, but it can be agreed that the story sets a precedent for ritual purification before a martyr’s death. It may also mark a record for perversion so murky its meaning cannot be clarified.
“I’d prefer not giving my real name due to the aspect of Islamic law that punishes apostates with death,” writes Sadiqi Az-Ziniki at the end of the e-mail that includes the above Hadith references. But a tag on his e-mail refers to his website: “Freethought Mecca: Pilgrimage beyond the Humorless . . . Pissing off the mujahadeen fi-sabil-il-kampotoor since 1420 A.H.”
What this apostate says, nevertheless, is confirmed by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen, a prominent Wahhabi. (AndrewSullivan.com helpfully provided this link in response to last week’s article.) Indeed, says the Wahhabi Shaykh, shaving below the navel is necessary, “if there are too many hairs . . . so that they do not get contaminated with any impurity when using the toilet.” The discussion also references a hadith in which Muhammad is said to have “set us a time limit of no more than forty days for trimming the moustache, clipping the nails, plucking the armpit hairs and shaving the pubic hair.”
As to the question of how: “The . . . proper etiquette of removing the pubic hair . . . is . . . to start shaving the pubic hair from beneath the navel, and to start on the right hand side, and one should also be concealed from the sight of others when doing this. One should also bury any hair or nail clippings removed.”
The two suspects arrested in Texas, however, were reported to have shaved “most of the hair on their bodies.” Which would be different, technically speaking, from removing “excess” hair. Oh, never mind, the FBI line on this must have been right. Fully shaven, partly shaven, armpit-shaven, whatever. It’s too bad the suspects are in prison and not, say, Kandahar. It would be good to oblige any such enemies who are prepared to die.
David Skinner is an assistant managing editor at The Weekly Standard.
