Last week’s performances were so bad, there was only one group left pleased: the conspiracy theorists. Why? Because news leaked that, during the end of the program when the phone numbers are being flashed on-screen for voting purposes, Fox producers mix rehearsal clips with the real, on-air performance sound bites. So, the critics say, this allows the network to guarantee better snippets for its “preferred” singers.
Me? I say that if Fox is playing favorites, then Apple Computer would have run away with this already.
DAVID ARCHULETA, 17
» Murray, Utah
For me, last week confirmed that David is undeniably the top talent. His voice was pure, each note clear as a bell. It’s the stuff that made me forget the cheesy rubbish he chose as his song.
Fuller Power Rank: 1 Vegas odds: 7/8
Turn up or tune out: My “Idol” schedule shows that David may wise up and start picking winners right when it matters. If that happens: game, set, match. Turn up.
CARLY SMITHSON, 24
Sure, Carly was in the bottom three last week. (Yes, I finally watched 10 minutes of an elimination show). She’s still the second in command.
Fuller Power Rank: 2 Vegas odds: 9/1
Turn up or tune out: Like David, there’s room for Carly to round into form during crunch time. She’s safe. Turn up.
BROOKE WHITE, 24
Brooke was a mess last week. Not just behind the mic, but when she was conducting her post-performance interview. Here’s hoping a bucket of pig’s blood doesn’t fall on her head during the show, or we’re all up in flames, “Carrie”-style.
Fuller Power Rank: 3 Vegas odds: 9/1
Turn up or tune out: Who says stars have to be sane? (No one. Stupid question.) Brooke is still capable of a showstopper or two. Turn up.
JASON CASTRO, 20
» Rockwall, Texas
Jason with no guitar is like weddings with no clothes: just awkward, man. Then again, with a few tweaks and a bit of luck, this goof is only a hemp necklace and tie-dyed shirt away from being a 30-year touring sensation.
Fuller Power Rank: 4 Vegas odds: 12/1
Turn up or tune out: Jason’s sugary singing style entices my musical sweet tooth. Turn up.
DAVID COOK, 25
» Blue Springs, Mo.
David jumps two spots on the Scott Fuller Chart this week because he’s becoming a real performer (i.e., I thought the voice-box gimmick was kinda cool). More importantly, his ever-rising ego is about to graduate from Irritatingly Pompous to Hilariously Big-Headed. And, boy, do I love my stars egomaniacal.
Fuller Power Rank: 5 Vegas odds: 4/1
Turn up or tune out: I am desperately hoping David morphs into an over-the-top stereotype and goes David Bowie on us. Because right now, his above-average performances won’t make the grade. Turn up.
MICHAEL JOHNS, 29
Michael is getting more boring by the week. Maybe my sister can date him, but I won’t buy his CD.
Fuller Power Rank: 6 Vegas odds: 13/1
Turn up or tune out: “Idol” judges and fans may be expecting this amicable Aussie to turn a corner that just ain’t comin’. Tune out.
RAMIELE MALUBAY, 20
This week, Ramiele falls a couple of notches on the Scott Fuller Chart. Like a bitter lover, I have finally realized that Ramiele just isn’t the one. (And there was so much potential!)
Fuller Power Rank: 7 Vegas odds: 25/1
Turn up or tune out: Cute, cuddly things make for Saturday morning cartoons, not prime-time starlets. Tune out.
SYESHA MERCADO, 21
» Sarasota, Fla.
When I said Syesha needed that special “something” to get things going, she must have taken this “something” to mean extra cleavage. Interesting. I am tempted to say “Turn up!” immediately for fear of my female readers tuning ME out.
Fuller Power Rank: 8 Vegas odds: 15/1
Turn up or tune out: Syesha is getting crafty or stooping to new lows, depending on your perspective. Either way, she won’t be phoning the Amanda Overmyer Tip Line for pointers. Tune out.
KRISTY LEE COOK, 24
» Selma, Ore.
Kristy was again the worst last week. Kristy remains the worst this week. But Kristy is no longer the Most Likely To Be Eliminated.
Fuller Power Rank: 9 Vegas odds: 100/1
Turn up or tune out: Call it the Sanjaya Phenomenon, or the devil’s work of Votefortheworst.com: People love pulling for losers. And they’ll carry the runt of the litter for a while until, inevitably, this sad sack finally sinks. Turn out.
CHIKEZIE EZE, 22
Say what you will about Chikezie, but he’s throwing some curveballs out there. Gotta give him points for the ol’ college try, right?
Fuller Power Rank: Elimination eminent. Vegas odds: 40/1
Turn up or tune out: New York Yankees 11, Virginia Tech 0. Sometimes you’re just outmatched — no shame in that. Tune out.
Each week, Scott Fuller breaks down the sinkers and swimmers on “American Idol.” Sound off: [email protected].
