Q: Let’s say you and a friend are seated on a train or in a waiting room — anywhere you’re allowed to choose your own seat, really. Someone sits next to you, and it’s obvious he has a horrible cold. He’s sneezing and coughing all over the place. Is it rude to get up and move to different seats? A: It’s not rude to move — it’s rude to spread your germs to other people. If you know you have something contagious, you really shouldn’t expose others to it, and I don’t blame you at all for wanting to move away from someone who looks like he might be contagious. Just be as subtle as possible. It would be rude, for example, to say loudly to your friend, “Hey, Hester, how about we change seats so we don’t catch whatever Plague Boy here has?” Just whisper, “Let’s move,” and find different seats without rolling your eyes, glaring at the sick guy or otherwise making a big production of it.
Q: Is it rude to walk through a department store while dragging a carry-on bag behind you? I was in New York City overnight and found out my flight home was delayed, so I decided to do some shopping before going to the airport. I had a small, wheeled suitcase with me. I didn’t think it was a big deal, but people in Saks gave me really dirty looks.
A: If the store is supercrowded (e.g., on Black Friday, Christmas Eve, etc.), I’d hesitate before going in with a wheeled bag. When people are elbow to elbow, it’s hard to pull a bag around without bothering anybody. But, in general, as long as your bag doesn’t get in anyone’s way and you’re not bouncing it off displays and racks of clothing, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with taking a small bag like that into a store.
Q: My friends and I want to go away on a girls’ weekend. There are six of us, and we’d like to get three really cool hotel rooms in Las Vegas. However, we have one person in our group who has a long-standing reputation for flaking out at the last minute. She keeps insisting she wants to go, but we think there’s a more than a 50 percent chance she’ll change her mind and the rest of us will be stuck paying more than we intended. The reservations are nonrefundable. Would it be rude to ask her to pay her share in advance?
A: If the reservations are nonrefundable, I would ask everybody to fork over her share in advance. That way, you’re not singling out your flaky friend (even if she deserves it), and you’re protected in case someone else bails at the last minute.
