Deborah Stone: Mantra for the millennium

Now repeat the mantra spoken by women everywhere as they fulfill the promise of the new millennium: Exfoliate and moisturize. Exfoliate and moisturize. Exfoliate and moisturize. Ommmm. …

Just when did this indoctrination begin? I?m not sure. All I know is when I was growing up, salt and sugar were ingredients in food, not body scrubs, and a bottle of hand cream was the extent of our household lotion supply. Nowadays, try to make your way through the supermarket without succumbing to the promise of beautiful skin if you only buy this cream or that one containing sea kelp or oatmeal or aloe, or God knows what else. Or, of course, you can visit makeup counters at local department stores for the privilege of paying five times as much for the same salts and creams in nicer packaging. Sad to say, I have done all of the above and have the credit card bills to prove it.

I?ve bought into the concept that newer, fresher, younger-looking skin lies just beneath the surface. One must exfoliate to find it. Once revealed, moisture gives it the dewiness of youth. I have creams in my vanity drawer, next to the chair where I watch TV at night, and in the nightstand for easy access just before bed. I?m apparently so slippery that my doctor had trouble getting the electrodes to stick when I went for a recent EKG.

This obsession may be a chick thing. My husband grimaces at the thought of using anything even vaguely creamy. He complains bitterly when I rub my latest potion into his hands, feet and elbows. I hit a new low in his estimation one recent night, when I turned off the bedside lamp then abruptly turned it on once again.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I forgot to put on cuticle cream.”

“You have cream just for your cuticles?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“They?re dry.”

“You?re insane.”

Perhaps. But evidence suggests otherwise. My cuticles are better.

Deborah Stone spent 15 years as a reporter and anchor at WJZ-TV. She is a 22-year resident of the Baltimore area.