YOU get a baby, YOU get a baby, EVERYONE GETS A BABY! If you’re not hip to the popular memes kids are using, that’s an Oprah reference. Amazon mistakenly sent out an email to lots of people yesterday—perhaps hundreds of thousands—suggesting somebody bought something off of their (in most cases non-existent) baby registry. Unfortunately, the glitch brought some temporary pain to those who struggle with infertility. For others, there was momentary fear that Amazon knew something they did not. Whoops!
Juggalos, how do they work? Our own Andrew Egger went to find out, as the intensely loyal followers of the Insane Clown Posse had a rally on the national mall to protest their treatment by law enforcement. Turns out, they’re a diverse group: “There are fascist Juggalos and communist Juggalos; Trump Juggalos and Hillary Juggalos and Alex Jones Juggalos.” We’re worried that Egger is a juggalo now. Our friends at reason have a good video of the event, and Bill McMorris has a great evergreen long-read that’s worth your time.
How yuuge can Trump’s #wins be? Warren Henry has a theory: “hoping a 70-year-old who has become immensely powerful while not caring about policy will suddenly change seems as unlikely as Congress changing, perhaps more so. That’s a big reason why the skeptics will remain skeptical and the Trump victories are likely to be less than they should be.”
Kangaroo courts ensnare professors who criticize them. At the New Yorker, Laura Kipnis is profiled for her new book Unwanted Advances It’s called the “Endless Trial by Title IX” and it’s a clever, if sad, and fitting title. Kipnis is a critic of of Title IX, and was actually investigated under Title IX for criticizing Title IX. It’s crazy stuff:
Perhaps Peter Thiel was right about college all along.
Alexa, what happens to my dog when I die? ChatBots are all the rage these days. Even THE WEEKLY STANDARD’s Facebook account has one! (It tells you to email us with questions, or call subscriber services to modify your subscription… we don’t have time to chat it up on Facebook.) But what if you had questions about getting your affairs in order if you were told you didn’t have much time to live? Turns out, there’s a ChatBot for that:
This makes sense to a certain degree. People are more likely to trust WebMD than share potentially embarrassing details with a friend who is a medical professional. But is it a slippery slope to assisted suicide? Potentially. And they say SkyNet isn’t real…
Melania scores a legal victory! Slovenians are (rightly) proud of what Melania Trump has accomplished, but one company there took matters a bit too far:
To which, we say: huzzah! Hopefully Mrs. Trump, who is aggressively defending her image (read: #brand), can start suing those behind the deceptive and annoying advertisements using images of politicians (and wives, in the case of first ladies) to promote their products. It’s tacky, and those ads deserve a slow, expensive death by lawyers.
Movie theaters are garbage. Our friend, former colleague, and Weekly Substandard co-host Sonny Bunch has an observation over at the Washington Post about the decline in movie ticket sales: the theaters are garbage:
And why would you, now that you can get that delicious fake butter (now trans-fat free!) by the gallon, and some Flavacol for that taste of the theater, at home.
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