We’ve all seen it happen, or heaven forbid, have been that guy.
It starts simply enough: a drink. Or two. Or 12. Next thing you know, you’re telling dirty jokes to your boss, hitting on his or her spouse, and dancing an inappropriate version of the hustle, even though there’s no music playing.
Welcome to the company holiday party, maker of fools and destroyer of careers.
“The first mistake people make is not thinking before they go,” said Barbara Friedman, a career consultant who is founder and chief executive officer of the D.C.-based Professional Transitions and Pathways (transitionwaysconsulting.com). “What they should think about is what they’ve invested and where they want to go.”
Friedman stresses that the company holiday party is a professional event with a social dimension, not a social event with a professional dimension. Not realizing this can lead to what she calls the “cringe factor.”
“The cringe factor is when you face your co-workers the next day,” Friedman said, adding that both outgoing and reticent employees struggle at the annual get-together: The outgoing overdo it, the reticent are uncomfortable interacting in large groups.
Friedman’s cringe factor is a good barometer to measure if one overdid it in front of the boss. Co-workers’ reaction the next business day can say it all.
“We’ve all made mistakes,” Anna Whitcomb, a Massachusetts-based career counselor and consultant with Career Choices (yourcareerchoices.com), said. “Don’t hang it up too hard on yourself.”
When back at work, Whitcomb advises making a joke of your behavior with some self-deprecating humor, and try to avoid any Facebook-like evidence.
“If no one talks to you about it, you worry about it,” she said, noting that silence and awkward looks are worse than people calling you out.
Whitcomb boils the mistakes people make in the holiday party minefield down to a handful. Not planning ahead, wearing inappropriate clothing, not considering what is appropriate conversation, not briefing your date or significant other beforehand and, yes, drinking way too much.
“I think the biggest issue is they drink too much,” Whitcomb said. “Don’t go for that third glass of wine. That’s what gets people in trouble. It’s sometimes good to have an exit plan.” Whitcomb suggests making plans for after the party as an excuse not to drink so much.
Whitcomb agrees with Friedman than planning ahead before the party is a good way to avoid any problems.
“I think you have to think about who the crowd is,” she said. This includes thinking ahead of time what you’re going to talk about and talking with your date or spouse about what’s on and off the table for discussion. Many a time has an unwitting spouse divulged information that an employee would rather just keep a secret, such as that round of golf on the day he or she was supposedly sick.
“The date might offend the boss or a co-worker,” Whitcomb warned. “You never know.”
As far as appropriate dress is concerned, Whitcomb’s advice is geared more toward the women at the party. Something fun and sexy you’d wear with your girlfriends may be scandalous in a workplace environment.
“Think about it as a job interview,” she said, adding that if you’re new to the company, ask about last year’s event for guidelines.
Overall, the best way to survive the holiday office party is to treat it like a work event, don’t get drunk, and don’t follow the boss’s lead on how to act.
“I think the guidelines are our own decisions about how to conduct one’s social life,” Friedman said.
Check yourself …
The office holiday party can be a minefield if you approach it like you do any party with your friends. Some guidelines to keep yourself in check:
Plan ahead: Realize that even though it is a social event, in reality it is in a professional setting. Keep that in mind.
Don’t drink too much: This is the biggie. Don’t get sloppy. Nurse that drink, and if you need to, make an excuse as to why you need to take it easy, such as plans afterward.
Dress appropriately: This is for both men and women, but particularly women, whether fair or not. Try to strike a balance between professional and fun.
Think before you speak: Consider what is appropriate conversation. Leave the dirty jokes for another time, and don’t come across as too eager to make a good impression in front of the boss.
Brief your date: Make sure your date and you are on the same page as to what is appropriate conversation.
