Boston Mayor Tom Menino recently delivered one of the most atrocious speeches in the history of oration when, during a dedication to hockey great Bobby Orr, he not only referred to Boston sports greats as “ionic” instead of “iconic” but also followed it up by reminiscing: “Havlicek stole the ball, Fisk waving the ball fair. Flutie launched the Hail Mary pass, Varitek splitting the uprights.”
Now, for those of you who aren’t sports fans — or who never would feign to be sports fans or can’t afford a speechwriter with some tenuous familiarity with being a sports fan — Jason Varitek was the catcher on two Boston Red Sox championship teams, a franchise that went nearly a century without a title and, being a baseball franchise, one that has no interest in splitting uprights or winning Super Bowls.
