Doggone stupid
A Florida man faces 20 years in prison after police said he used dental floss and glue to unsuccessfully operate on a dog’s wounds.
William R. Jones, 55, was taking care of Zoe for his daughter’s friend. Zoe had escaped through a hole in a fence but suffered a 4-inch cut on her chest. Jones tried to seal the gash with Superglue, police said, but it reopened.
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Deputies said Jones placed Zoe on a coffee table and began to sew the wound with a needle and dental floss.
To stop Zoe from yelping, Jones put a cloth soaked with Chloroform on her muzzle. Zoe stopped breathing and never awoke.
Detectives charged Jones with two counts of felony animal abuse.
They were just stealing zzz’s
Four burglary suspects were captured after they fell asleep in their getaway car.
The men allegedly broke into a gardening business in Stuart, Fla., and drove off in a van with 22 chain saws. Deputies found the abandoned van. Nearby, the suspects were curled asleep in a Jaguar. One suspect confessed and said they were waiting to blend in with traffic.
All four were charged with burglary and grand theft.
The next day, the garden business posted a warning, “The last 4 idiots who broke in here are at the (jail) getting acquainted with Bubba.”
Soldier of misfortune
A U.S. Army private who went AWOL was arrested after the stolen Army Humvee he was driving ran out of gas.
A deputy found Sean Johnson, 23, stranded on the side of the road near Daytona Beach, Fla.
Johnson said he was transporting the Humvee, but the deputy became suspicious because Johnson did not have his orders or a government fuel card and was dressed in civilian clothing.
The Humvee was towed, and Johnson was taken to a hotel. He was arrested and charged with grand theft after authorities learned that the vehicle had been stolen from Fort Stewart, Ga.
Tastes like carats
A Missouri man accused of stealing a $20,000 ring coughed up the evidence under questioning.
A man and woman went to a jewelry store and said they wanted to sell the 2-carat diamond ring. The jeweler recognized it as having been reported stolen. He called police and stalled the couple.
When the officers arrived, the man swallowed the ring. While being questioned, he began to cough uncontrollably and eventually spit up the ring.
Maybe a little too accessible
A life-sized bronze statue of a girl was stolen from a city park in Montana.
The 4-foot-tall sculpture by Colorado artist James Haire is valued at $7,400. Haire lent the sculpture to the city as part of an effort to make art more accessible to the public.
– Compiled by Scott McCabe
