STUPID CRIMES

Published November 17, 2011 5:00am ET



This is coming out of your allowance A Florida teenager is facing charges for staging his own kidnapping to extort a ransom from his father.

The 17-year-old disappeared from the Chris Evert-Raymond James Pro-Celebrity Tennis tournament in Delray Beach and called his father claiming his captors were demanding $50,000 for his release, police said.

His father refused to pay, and police tracked the teenager and another man, Joshua Andre Pee, 23, to a nearby motel.

Police captured the teen, but Pee ran and broke into a house. The homeowner and her daughter fled and flagged down police. A sergeant Tasered Pee when he refused to surrender.

Pee was charged with the burglary of an occupied dwelling and resisting arrest. The teenager was charged with grand theft.

A Grade-A Moron

A Florida high school math teacher confessed to changing students’ grades in exchange for money so he could pay for his driving under the influence fine.

Jeff Spires said he took about $65 from an eleventh-grader in exchange for changing a grade from a C to a B on his report card. Spires said a senior gave him either $15 or $30 to improve a grade on one quiz,

When an investigator asked why, he replied, “That’s what I don’t know — why. Maybe I see the kids as desperate as I am.” He said he was in financial straits because of bankruptcy, arrests and jail time.

Records from the Charlotte County Jail show Spires was booked three times there within the past two years.

Backyard baaa-becue

A Texas man is accused of stealing his neighbor’s goat and serving it at a backyard barbecue.

The thief used bolt cutters to take a 7-month-old, 245-pound goat valued at $3,500 from a pen behind a home, reports the Austin American-Statesman.

Police questioned neighbor Javier Aguirre and found blood and goat hair in the bed of his truck.

Aguirre told detectives he took that goat because it was “very gentle, like a dog.”

The goat was then butchered, barbecued and served to people in the neighborhood, the affidavit said.

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