Absolut moron
A Ohio man pulled over for drinking and driving had to have one final taste before he was hauled off to jail, police said.
Springdale police caught James Robinson, 32, driving with an open bottle of vodka after they responded to a call that Robinson was trying to break into his ex-wife’s home.
By the time police arrived, Robinson had driven away. When police caught up to him and pulled him over, they saw an open bottle of vodka on his car seat.
Robinson took a sobriety test but failed, police said.
That’s when he gulped down the rest of the vodka.
That final sip resulted in an additional charge of tampering with evidence.
Extreme home makeover
An Indiana woman set her mobile home on fire trying to shoo a large raccoon out from under it.
The 52-year-old woman told police she lit a full bag of “smoke bomb” fireworks and threw them under the mobile home.
Soon after, she saw white smoke and dialed 911. Damages were estimated at $500.
My Other Car is Barcalounger
A Minnesota man pleaded guilty to La-Z-Boy drinking and driving.
Dennis LeRoy Anderson, 62, told police he drank nine beers before he left a bar on his motorized La-Z-Boy chair. Anderson crashed into a parked vehicle. He was not seriously injured.
Prosecutors say Anderson’s blood-alcohol content was more than three times the legal limit.
The chair was powered by a converted lawnmower and had a stereo and cup holders.
Parent of the Year
A Wisconsin woman was arrested on a child neglect charge after police found her 9-year-old daughter sleeping in a vehicle while her mother was inside a bar drinking.
Officers found the girl in the car huddled under a blanket trying to keep warm despite the 37-degree nighttime temperature.
It took a while to find the mother. Officers told the bartender to turn down the music and then announced that they needed to talk to the owner of the vehicle parked in back.
No one came forward. When police eventually identified the mother, she denied any wrongdoing. She said she only had three alcoholic drinks and checked on her daughter periodically.
‘Get off my lawn!’ ‘Get off my face!’
Police say a Detroit-area man bit through a neighbor’s lips after a football landed on his lawn.
The man, 44, refused to return the ball until a 28-year-old parent walked up to him and asked for it. The man attacked the parent and bit down on his lip, biting nearly all the way through.
The man was charged with assault with intent to maim, a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison.
— Compiled by Scott McCabe
