Stupid Crimes

Published March 12, 2010 5:00am ET



Bus driver’s problems

no longer behind her

A suburban Chicago woman faces drunken driving charges after police said she was driving a school bus filled with 50 elementary school children yet blew a blood-alcohol level nearly six times the legal limit.

Betty Burden, 54, admitted downing vodka before getting behind the wheel. Another driver smelled alcohol on her breath and alerted authorities as Burden’s bus left the school.

Burden registered a 0.226 blood-alcohol level, police said. The limit in Illinois is 0.08 for regular drivers and 0.04 for drivers with a commercial driver’s license. She had been a bus driver since 1991.

Ultrasoft on crime

Two University of Kentucky fraternity brothers were arrested after authorities said another student was wrapped in toilet paper and set on fire.

Sigma Alpha Epsilon fraternity member Sean Dunn, 19, was charged with arson, wanton endangerment and tampering with evidence.

The victim was engulfed in flames, dropped to the floor and began rolling. The floor caught on fire, and Dunn tried to put out the flames with his hands, causing first-degree burns to himself.

Joseph McKinley III was charged with hitting a police officer. McKinley is the son of a federal judge.

Last year, McKinley and SAE were sued by a man claiming that McKinley staggered out of the frat house wearing only thong underwear and pummeled the man after someone asked McKinley why he was dressed that way.

Lactose intolerant

A Kentucky woman was accused of assaulting a jailer by squirting breast milk at a guard.

The woman was arrested for public intoxication and was changing into an inmate uniform when she shot the milk into the face of a female deputy.

The woman now faces a felony charge of third-degree assault on a police officer.

Do not pass ‘Go’

A Wichita, Kan., man was beaten by drug dealers after he paid for crack cocaine with Monopoly money.

The man, who was bleeding from the head when police pulled him over, said he had bought the crack weeks before and that the dealer was only now taking revenge.

The man refused to identify his attackers, but police spokesman Gordon Bassham said officers were still investigating.

“That was not a get-out-of-jail-free card,” Bassham said.

– Scott McCabe