Stupid Crimes

Marked Men

Anybody can use a ski mask as a disguise to pull off a heist. But two Iowa men took it a step further and painted their faces with a Sharpie marker before trying to rob an apartment.

When police captured Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller, they were in blackface. Police weren’t sure why McNelly and Miller went with the raccoon look, but guessed that they may have been trying to scare the apartment’s occupant.

Keeping it in the Klan

Yelling racial slurs and death threats at a traffic cop is not the best way to talk your way out of a ticket.

That’s what one 44-year-old woman in Florida did after being stopped for making an illegal left turn.

Police said Julie Hubbard of Crescent City made the threats while the sheriff’s deputy ran a check on her. Hubbard continued to call the officer, who was black, racially derogatory names and spat on his leg and stomach, telling the deputy that “her father was a member of the KKK” and “You will get yours,” the report said.

Hubbard then purposely urinated in the back of the squad car, the report said.

A parrot was removed from the woman’s car, the report said.

Snakes on a flame

A homeless man was arrested after setting fire to his camp in the woods south of downtown Des Moines, Iowa.

Gerald Collett, 46, copped to the fire. “He was trying to get snakes out of his homeless camp by pouring gasoline in his camp and igniting it,” according to the police report.

Collett had a homemade gun and ammunition for it, which exploded in the fire. No injuries were reported.

I’d like a Big Mac, hold the pistol

Two robbers holding up a McDonald’s restaurant in Ohio almost succeeded, but one of the bad guys made the mistake of putting the weapon down.

The robber without a gun moved three employees and a customer to the rear of the restaurant while the armed robber forced the manager to empty the safe, police said.

But the gunman couldn’t hold the gun and scoop up the cash at the same time. So he placed the gun on the counter. That’s when the store manager grabbed the firearm.

The robber tried to wrestle back the gun, but two other employees joined the struggle and scared both robbers out the door.

Dog’s best friend

Five Virginia correctional officers were charged with animal cruelty for allegedly videotaping one of the officers engaging in sexual contact with a dog.

All five were training in Goochland County to become K-9 officers.

Authorities said one of the handlers-in-training touched the male dog’s genitals while the others videotaped the act.

An attorney for one of the officers described the alleged activities as hazing.

Compiled by Scott McCabe

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