Stupid Crimes — Sept. 5, 2008

Thief is headed to the can

A portable toilet isn’t the best place to hide from two men who think you tried to break into their construction truck.

That’s what the Tampa Police Department said happened to Lorenzo Earl Knight, 22, on Saturday afternoon near International Mall.

The workers yelled at Knight after they saw him rummaging through a truck. Knight took off, taking a $500 digital camera and the owner’s manual, but leaving behind a shoe and the screwdriver used in the break-in.

Construction workers chased Knight into a portable toilet where they tipped it over until police arrived.

Knight was covered with its contents, police said.

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Flasher can’t start day without cup of joe

A Snohomish, Wa., man accused of exposing himself at coffee shop drive-throughs told police he was happy that officers finally caught up with him.

The man, 20, said he was addicted to fondling himself at drive-through espresso stands, court documents show. At least seven baristas reported that the man exposed himself when he drove up to their stands beginning in February.

“Thank you for catching me. I need to stop and I can’t do it alone,” the man allegedly told police.

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She should be happy with the $6 fare

An Austin cabbie was charged with robbing one of his customers — for not tipping him. Sharon Hernandez Daro says her 10-minute ride to the University of Texas campus felt like hours because the driver — Whyte Awala — was a jerk.

The ride cost $6 and she paid with her credit card. Instead of adding a tip, she wrote, “No Tip-Very Rude”.

It was then Awala allegedly got out of the cab and came after her, tearing her coat off before driving away. Awala was arrested on felony robbery charges.

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Nice pants

When Collier County, Fla., sheriff’s deputies found a stolen debit card in a 19-year-old’s pants pocket, the teen said he had a perfectly good excuse.

They weren’t his pants.

Richard W. Obdyke told deputies he found the pants in his van. He wasn’t sure who they belonged to.

Deputies found the owner of the debit card. She thought she may have left it at Marsala Pizza.

Obdyke worked for Marsala Pizza.

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